Nigerian Scam

Hi,

If you receive emails of this nature, please ignore and report them to Hotmail or the mail carrier of your choice. They are scams.

Thanks,

Blete

my dearest new friend,
it give me a great honor to contact you after viewing your email id through >bletebzz.wordpress.com which interest me in having communication with you so that we can get to know each other and see what happened if you will have the desire with me,i will be very happy if you can write me back for easiest communication.i will be waiting to hear from you so i can tell you more about my self and send you some of my recent photos for you to see who you are dealing with.
take care of your self.
yours new friend.
Dorathy

Becoming hero

– I don’t get it, – my up-to now friend is stewing. -Why you and not me?

-What do you mean? – I ask, trying to bind my maimed hand. My sword is resting accross my knee, within easy reach should the need arise. Most likely it won’t, since the field is strewn with the bodies of the enemies we have killed, and otherwise occupied with our weary warriors in need of wound cleansing and binding, or even the last rites. This battle has been the worst yet.

-We have fought together every battle since we were 12. We have killed almost the same number of enemies. Look at the tally. – and he shoves a rabbit skin with strange markings on two columns under my nose. So that’s what that thing is. I always wondered why he kept dragging it with him everywhere and what did he secretly scribble on it

His breeches are torn and soaked with blood. Everytime he speaks, the color of the seepage becomes deeper, but it does not look very serious. I am more worried about the wound on his chest, currently being bound by one of the maiden daughters of the liege vassals of my house. She is trying to do a good job but he keeps moving and bumping his forearm on her chest, while barely containing his frustration. 

-I am sure they respect you too.

-It is not the same! Every village we go to, they make songs in your name. They offer you their daughters first, they name their sons after you, they give you the ram tails over their liege lords for God’s sake. What am I, chopped liver?

-Man, listen. You are my best friend. You still stand by me,  you have my back, you are the person I look up to. You are my hero. We do everything together. I don’t get why you are so upset.

-Why can’t I be their hero too? My name will be forgotten. 500 years from now…

-541 years from now.

-541 years from now, thank you; they’ll turn you into a myth, they’ll build statues on your name, they’ll think you kept this country together. And all you were trying to do was get back your daddy’s lands. I was the one with the bigger dream, the one who convinced you to go back, the one who reminded you of your religion. What about me, huh?

Playing musical computers

I bought my computer about a year ago, because I wanted something decent to use. My Baby (laptop) was showing signs of wear and tear and I decided to set it up for my dad so he could use it, and I could use this one. He gained unlimited access, I gained more privacy and unlimited access. Right thinking, wrong family.

First, this one has a big screen. Second, it is in the kitchen. Third, it is quicker. Fourth, my mom learned to use it so she could read Alb newspapers.

So now, even as I am doing the pi-pi dance in my chair (you know the one when you cross and uncross your legs, grind your crotch into the chair and shake your your torso back and forth) i am afraid to leave my place. Because my dad is lurking by, innocently watching TV and explaining the movies for my mom, and straining to hear for the creaking of the chair, and see me belining for the restroom. He knows it is coming. I can’t resist much longer.

Once, we used to fight over the TV remote. Then we got two Tv-s and everybody was happy. Until computers entered our lives. And we were never the same again.

Now we play the musical computers and wait to pounce upon that empty chair still warm. Mom has entered the game too, studiously making ehr way through news, Albanian humor shows (an oxymoron, i know) and English recipes which i have to translate. And my cousin needs to do her homework, poor heart, so she is there too.

But my father is the most serious contender for the throne.  I hear him sometimes pouncing upon the keyboard, writing with two fingers and reading to himself, then hitting send. And I am hoping he has to go to the bathroom.

Today, I am winning. Still flexing my belly muscles, but I am here and I have not moved. And one, two, three…he went to bed. I win

Say it ain’t so!

I always said that I would never comment on politics and finance, but this sort of has to do with my tax dollars at work.

Porn industry needs a bailout? But that is the last resort. I mean that is the reason for internet. and Ron Jeremy. and Larry Flint. And now that the car industry is almost dying and DHL closed shop for good in the US, who’s going to employ all those people?

Frankly, if asked I’d definitely bail out the porn industry over the car industry any day. even airlines. I’d take all that bailout money and invest it in stripper platforms, blond wigs and silicone. We’ll see where the economy is in a couple of years. At least the lobbyists would be better looking fakes inside and out.

Just for fun, can you imagine a stimulus check in the mail to renew your Spice Channel subscription? Better yet, a year round membership paid for by the state. And with income guidelines. because let’s face it, $500 can only buy a car if it will be used for scrap iron, but it can buy a lot of Vivid Entertainment DVD’s on sale. Anything to save the economy. Even double Ds bought with fed grants.

Early Valentine

Well, it is not St Valentine’s yet, but this takes the cake (and the bride and the groom) According to this BBC story, the cutie-pies in the pic below decided to elope to Africa for their nuptials, older sister (official witness) in tow.  She was 6 he was 5 and the official witness was 7. Do I hear the collective AWWWW!

I hope they end up together because when they grow up, the story will brand the girl as a crafty husband-snatcher and the boy will use it to get into as many girls’s thongs as possible. And the older sister will always have the shame of her younger sibling getting married before her.

I remember that I myself got engaged at 4 with my father’s friend son, only to break it up at 5 because he destroyed the little baby doll carriage, the bum. You can tell I was scarred for life.

Down with the chick flicks!

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. According to the article on this link: watching chick flicks is bad for your romantic life.
Apparently it makes women have unrealistic expextations and want guys who can make them come in three minutes flat, cook the perfect breakfast and still take the garbage out. (although women do all that you know.)
Didn’t I tell you people? Take that you perfect 5 minute sex and airbrushed love! I finally feel like a woman again and not awkward for not liking “Titanic”. (As my cousins were crying rivers, I just stared at the screen and was trying not to laugh. Sorry jack and Rose!)
I will continue to watch “Rambo 5” and “Drunken Master”. Now that is pure realism and very faithful to what a man does in real life. Easy date see?

Click here if you want to participate in the study.

For your satisfaction…

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