I have been chewing myself all this time, trying to sit down and write about my New Year’s resolution not to have resolutions but it just ain’t working. I keep finding reasons about why I am genetically undatable instead. And tonight, I have one more:
I have absolutely no interest in sports. I mean none. Several people have tried to teach me. The last one even used a very interesting reward-punish system (no comment) that should have made me a genius in football. It just made me sleepy.
My brain refuses to accept sports. Oh I can sit and yell with the best of them for about two minutes and a half. I can ask questions, cheer or jeer with the crowd and I can fake it like a pro if I really push myself. But most of the time I can hear the little voice of my brain whining “I don’t wanna, don’t make me, don’t wanna!”
Tonight, the last fiasco. My beautiful friend transformed into a devastating Rangers wench, my other friend liked the atmosphere even if she is as handicapped as I in this direction (What? I thought we were going to a basketball game. Aren’t Rangers our basketball team?). Everybody was cheering Go Rangers, all around me was red blue and white, and I was feeling sorry for the poor Toronto leaves.
“Yayy!” they were all shouting.
“But look at the poor Canadians! They are so sad, in a different country, different people, different language…whoops, sorry different accents. Let them have one, come on!” The little brain voice inside me was saying. No killer sport spirit at all.
Anyway, I looked around and I noticed the men. So many men, all in one place, at one time, not afraid to show their testosterone and ability to stuff faces with hot dogs and beer… And a resolution formed inside me today:
With sports, you’re a queen, with sports you are a sultana, with sports you are cool, men like you with sports.
I must learn to like sports. I will breathe sports, I will eat sports, I will smell the sweaty socks and not beg for mercy for the poor losers, I will….
“Shoot, I must go home now.” My friend says “You guys can stay if you want, you seem to like the game. I’ll just jump into a cab and…”
“No, no, we’ll come. Gotta wake up early, so good to meet ya, yay Rangers go go.”
And my other friend and I leave with her. My other friend asks to be invited for basketball games. I am still trying to learn:
How about that Rangers game last night? And not succeeding.


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