mystery man

well, at my job it seems that everybody is either marrying, divorcing, having babies, grandbabies, graduation, retirement, birthdays and i do not know what else. life is all going around me but not through me it seems. no boyfriend, no drama, nothing interesting.

oh i have excuses. i am too fat, i have no time, i am too weird, i never meet anybody, etc etc. and all of them are valid, and current. i am fat, or as i like to say pleasantly rotund, i have four jobs, and i tend to be a bit off kilter.  and over thirty. their validity serves as a shield and a prison all at once.

and then something happens, a new figure enters into my range of interest. interesting guy, single, funny gainfully employed. also cute. a bit brash and a show off but you can’t have everything. “yes – my inner concilla says – he is perfect but he is not interested in you.” because he can get younger and much prettier than me. what is he going to use me for? jokes he needs translated with a dictionary and a map? 200 lbs of prime lard for those lonely winter nights? my community connections with the silver mane crowd?

therefore it comes as a big surprise to see that he is interested. and a bit scary. and plenty to muss over. so, while this man is exhibiting all signs and traits of hitting on me, i sit and i think “yes yes you are doing great but push a bit harder. i am shy.” and that is it.

men have a one track mind. this one does not have a girlfriend and wants one, so he is advertising the fact left and right. and frankly, while he likes my round smiling face, he’s not going to sit around until i can come out of my freeze spell. other girls beckon. so i snooze and i lose.

oh well, if only he’d asked a third time!

11 thoughts on “mystery man

  1. Bleta, me erdhi shume keq kur e lexova kete shkrim, sepse mu duk i pasinqerte, qofte per mire, qofte per keq. Nje episod tjeter (sado interesant) nga rrethi i frikes, pasigurise dhe endrres. Virtualitet.

    Shqetesimi i pare duket i vertete: ku eshte jeta familjare? Ne fakt, po te shohesh mire, jeta jote familjare ekziston, por mbase nuk je shkeputur akoma nga familja 1 per te familja 2. Aty ku shpenzojme me shume energji, aty kemi edhe frytet me te medha familjare.

    Justifikimet, qe ti i quan te verteta: vertet mund te jesh mbipeshe, por permasa e horrorit te kesaj eshte e gjitha imagjinare – realiteti eshte qe ti zgjon deshire fizike tek meshkujt (dhe nuk ke nje shendet qe te pengon ne ndonje menyre te marresh pjese ne te gjitha aktivitetet qe do); ti je weird? ti sinqerisht mendon qe te qenet e vecante nuk eshte avantazh, qe te dallon ty nga te tjeret dhe terheq vemendje?; you never meet anybody? po une ketu lexoj gjithmone per njerezit qe takon dhe e di qe je shume aktive …

    If love has not fallen on your platter in the shape of a stable, father material, stud, let me suggest 2 potential reasons: 1st, your current friendships and other non-sexual connections are too strong and satisfying, leaving you little void to fill on a daily basis (which means you are not REALLY looking); 2nd, romance and steady relationships usually come accompanied by different kinds of men, and if you’re constantly looking for romance while also looking for the father material, your options will be severely limited (my guess is that your penchant for romance leads you to the fleeting butterfly guy, which is great, but don’t give me the ‘i’m over 30’ complaint – you are not over 30, apparently). I think our desires have grown too large, but unfortunately our fears have also grown proportionally larger.

    Qe ta mbyll me mungesen e sinqeritetit: ti e di qe je njeri i deshirueshem, qe ka shume djem qe do te vdisnin per ty. Prandaj kur thua ‘jo’ dmth se po kerkon me te mirin e te mireve, me mundesite me te vogla te zhgenjimit. You want to take no risks.

  2. Life is complicated yet beautifully simple..

    I think you doing well.. However, it won’t be a tragedy if you were to ask him for a drink!

    Think Elsaaa – pallati 176 .. 🙂

      1. When “the ball is in your court”, it is your turn to act and you must do something.

        P.s. Is that a squirrel i see ?? Do Not Ruin Your Chances .. You have unfinished business with McSquizzy’s clan! Don’t you dare take him out for a squirrel sausage!! 🙂

  3. Frankly you, and the world, cant afford to be shy. That’s my two cents. If you’ve seen Mike Judge’s “Idiocracy” you’d know what I am talking about:)

    So step on up girl. I’d gladly go out with women my age or older, for as Ben Franklin says:

    “when a Woman ceases to be young, she endeavors to be good”:)

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