well, at my job it seems that everybody is either marrying, divorcing, having babies, grandbabies, graduation, retirement, birthdays and i do not know what else. life is all going around me but not through me it seems. no boyfriend, no drama, nothing interesting.
oh i have excuses. i am too fat, i have no time, i am too weird, i never meet anybody, etc etc. and all of them are valid, and current. i am fat, or as i like to say pleasantly rotund, i have four jobs, and i tend to be a bit off kilter. and over thirty. their validity serves as a shield and a prison all at once.
and then something happens, a new figure enters into my range of interest. interesting guy, single, funny gainfully employed. also cute. a bit brash and a show off but you can’t have everything. “yes – my inner concilla says – he is perfect but he is not interested in you.” because he can get younger and much prettier than me. what is he going to use me for? jokes he needs translated with a dictionary and a map? 200 lbs of prime lard for those lonely winter nights? my community connections with the silver mane crowd?
therefore it comes as a big surprise to see that he is interested. and a bit scary. and plenty to muss over. so, while this man is exhibiting all signs and traits of hitting on me, i sit and i think “yes yes you are doing great but push a bit harder. i am shy.” and that is it.
men have a one track mind. this one does not have a girlfriend and wants one, so he is advertising the fact left and right. and frankly, while he likes my round smiling face, he’s not going to sit around until i can come out of my freeze spell. other girls beckon. so i snooze and i lose.
oh well, if only he’d asked a third time!