– Wow, look at Natalie go! She’s going to break him in half.
Natalie is kissing her boyfriend. Nat the pug, Nat the wet rag pug has a boyfriend! This is truly the end of the world.
-Oh yeah, you didn’t know? They’re the talk of the office.
-But she is so, so plain…ly needy and plain and chubby and alone and plain and I was going to ask her to go out with me. Me with a plain girl. Who is putting a shine on somebody else’s tonsils smack dab in the middle of the day. And he has her hands on her butt. The one I touched, the one that looks like droopy dough but makes her do that mewling sound on the back of her mouth, when she has her tongue down my throat, his throat, whoever’s throat.
Natalie, Natalie why she do this to me? Just when I finally decided I liked her enough that I did not care about what people thought when they saw us together. That I wanted her round face and sensible bra to be the first thing I saw in the morning. Especially the bra. I did not know how mad tightey whiteys drove me until I saw her changing in her cubicle thinking nobody was around.
Natalie has the face of a friendly pug and hair that always stand up on the ends. She is a bit chubby and clearly in need of attention. She rarely speaks in the meetings, and when she does, she always starts with an apology. The best thing anyone can say about her outfits is that they are there, they are clean and they cover her. And this is the woman I have been debating over, ever since that crazy weekend after the office party. The party for which she was changing in her cubicle and unknowingly modeled her sensible white bra for me. I saw her in that bra, her round back cut by its stretched out straps. It was a good, touching and intimate glance into somebody else’s inside world. Then Stella called me and I forgot all about the little impromptu peepshow.
Later at the party, we got together. I don’t remember how it exactly happened. One minute I was talking to Stella about some upcoming beach deal I was trying to get her to go to, and the next Natalie was shoving another plastic cup of vodka in my hand and telling me she was sorry. Stella had left. Natalie smiled a worried smile and I remembered the bra again. So I took her to my home. And she was just what the doctor ordered. Very lively, very energetic, very there. Her warm body was my consolation and a great way to spend the night.
Then the morning came and she was still there. The displeasure must have shown on my face because sputtering apologies aplenty, she quickly scrambled her clothes and left. She was distant at work too. I mean I was relieved of course. Natalie was no prize and I don’t go in for chubby chicks anyway. It just irked me that she would not acknowledge our night together either by a look, casual touch or even a quick blush on her pug face. It got so that I started watching her very closely for a reaction, anything out of the ordinary, but she was the same as she’d ever been.
I thought about it a lot. I could not think about anything else. I was not even returning Stella’s calls anymore. I got on the verge of approaching her several times but I always held back. I mean Natalie and I? I might as well buy a real pug. Which I did. But only because it reminded me of her. I called it Nate. Still the sleeplessness did not go away and I still woke every morning with Natalie’s bra on my mind. It got so bad that I knew I either had to get her to hang out with me or buy Nate a white, sensible bra.
This morning was to be that day. The day that I stepped over my ego, what my friends thought and made my peace with the fact that I wanted to date Natalie. Maybe even marry her at some point. I was sure she would be a good wife. Yes, this morning was the morning when I started to live the rest of my new life. With Natalie. Who has apparently made up with her boyfriend. The office is abuzz with gossip about their little show outside. And nobody knows about my little turmoil inside. All I can think of is that at least Nate will be happy to see me when I get home tonight. And I guess I’ll still have time to swing by Sears lingerie department on the way home.