Dunno what made me go out with this one. I guess holiday blues. hmm.
like every sane person, i have a set of rules when it comes to accepting dates with people. and none of that feminist or new age bullcrap about how one has to open their mind, throw the rules out of the window, get out of their own selves and whatnot. dating is simply about finding people one likes and can stand to have around, who do not do to badly in bed, and who can pick the check at least once in a while. and who are not allergic to books.
my rules are simple:
no younger guys. no short guys. no guys with bigger tits than mine ( it has actually happened). no olympian athletes (as if). they must have read a book at least once in their lifetime. no marrieds (unless accompanied with a statement from wife that explicitly states they can date somebody else, or as it is more commonly called: a divorce). no bad spellers. must have all their teeth (hair is negotiable). no baby mama drama. an apartment or at least a separate room is a necessity. own house big plus. own house with mama inside huuuge minus. etc. etc. etc.
and what do I do? i take all my lovely rules and throw them out of the window to go out with none other than a petitte younger man suffering from haemorrage of the mouth, and nostrils you could fit coppers in. boo.
it started bad and it got to worse. his chest was normal, but his butt was as big as a mountain. he had a non-exclussive girlfriend!!! (why do guys like that get girlfriends and what makes them think they can cheat on them instead of thanking God ten times a day for their good fortune?) his profile was well-written but he was a bad speller in every subsequent email. he would not stop whining about his job. he lived with his parents (i live with mine too, which is why i have to insist on no live-in mama rule).he was short. he was three years younger than me. the last book he had read was something sporty. he was a sports nut (Yankees for Pete’s sake!). he paid for the drinks. i drank seltzer water. (when i have alcohol, i am inclined to accept a second date).
so, i’ll concentrate on the holidays for a while and forget all about dating. i need time to recover.