Train of thought

let’s say that there is a friend. and that there are a lot of feelings surrounding this friend. and that this friend has all the signs of a potential soul mate. you know, the smile that lits up the face, the crinkling of the eye corners, the awkwardness of the gait, the sweet soft voice that incites strange desires in the brain of the other friend. and let’s say that there are promises of future perfect children emanating from the eyes of this one.

let’s say that said friend goes whenever first friend is invited. it is a given, a sacrosant right, a blessed union that brings a lot of other people panting around, eager to join in on the laughter and the fun. and that this friend perfectly understands that without other friend, the fun would be somewhat dilutted, and the joy light less bright.

let’s say that this friend wants to know whether the other friend can feel the perfectness of the situation. that if there is any possible chance that a little push in the right direction could help. possibly a better perfume or a new hairstyle, or even an unexpected glass of wine that might prompt a step in a different direction. this friend is sort of going in circles trying to find the way to open that door.

let’s say that this friend is also reluctant to open that door. previous track record has been less than stellar. the road behind the door was traveled before and ended in tears. so this friend is torn between wanting and being afraid. and the other friend is torn between settling or enjoying life a bit longer. and both friends like what they have with each other. so they enjoy it and go their ways.

now let’s say that if one more friend calls me with this situation, or if i see one more hollywood movie with this theme, i will scream. friends are friends, period. if they want to become more than friends, fine. but if they don’t enjoy them for what they are offering you and get your kicks somewhere else. and yes, it is easy for me to say because i tend to torture myself alot with what if, and what could have been, and forget to taste what is and what awaits.

and what awaits right now is a relaxing Sunday with a coffee, cookies and gossips with a friend. about a friend who…


3 thoughts on “Train of thought

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