To soap or not to soap?

i was reading an albanian post of a short story. why albanian? because i know the language. why literature? checking out the competition of course. it is those pesky foreign writers that take honest readers away from aspiring americano wannabes like myself.

anyway it goes like this: a girl calls god but she only finds his secretary (voice mail) one day she goes over to her old lovers house, gives him the b-day gift she never gave him when they went together and then gets hit by a car and dies, thinking this time god heard her and granted her a quick death. of course there is the requisite fatzilla wife of the lover who tortures him with her crazy requests for massage to her elephant legs of a pregnant woman and ice cream cravings.

now come on. the writer is good without having to resort to so many soapie thingies. i mean, four paragraphs, five tragedies, each one more gripping , more tearjerking and dazzlingly bad than the rest. what is he/she thinking? why does she/he need so much attention drawn to this piece (and it is a bad one) it reeks of soap opera.

truthfully, i do not know why i have such an aversion to soaps. maybe because they set such impossible life limits for people. maybe because they throw a romantic rosy lights on the ugliness of life. like when was it ever cool to sleep with your father-in-law after you marry your boyfriend’s long lost evil twin who turns out to be your mother’s brother gay lover’s son, only to betray all of them and become pregnant by your transvestite high school lover-cum-beauty queen who you met in a stormy night in the streets of the rough city after you had decided to kill yourself with the your husband’s gun that will turn out to have wounded your maternal uncle’s first wife that you will end up eventually remarrying in a lesbian ceremony in texas?
or maybe because, even though i have tried, nothing like this ever happens to me. I mean i am pretty normal, healthy buxomy heroine. Do I save my boyfriend’s birthday gift for 8 yrs? heck no! Am I enough of a stalker to know where he lives and knock on his and his pregnant wife’s door? (i’ll only admit to obssessive googling) as for the car part, yes, I am actually absend minded enough to get hit by one because i never look before I step. I guess God must be too busy watching out for me to answer the other womna’s calls after all, so that part must be true as well.
writers do cut corners and put tearjerkers because they are addicted to emotions of their readers but do not want to work for them. nowadays everybody wants instant gratification, and in this case they jerk emotion out of their readers or at least make them guilty for not liking the piece or not having any emotions to jerk. we’ve been wringed out you nazis!!
writers do not want to take time and cajole that tear out of the corner of the eye, arouse that emotion from the weary heart, built up to a crescendo, a culmination point. oh no.
this part sort of leaves one raped back and front with a popsickle (See what i mean about captivating attention).
and yet, i might still write soaps. steady money you know.

17 thoughts on “To soap or not to soap?

  1. not to soap per mua. Ketu ne france ka sidomos dy autore te sukseshem (Marc Levy e Guillaume Musso qe duhet te jene perkthyer edne ne anglisht, bile nje liber i te parit eshte film) qe shkruajne libra dashurie por te shkruajtura nga burrat ndaj mbase kane sukses !? Une nuk humb me kohen me ta. Kam lexuar nje te secilit (dy per te parin) veç jane vertet soap

  2. Totally agree🙂 e lexova ne akuarium shkrimin qe referohesh ..spo shtoj me asgje se i ke thene te gjitha ne shtjellimin tend..madje dhe me bukur..sikur te dija dhe une kaq mire english😦😦

  3. edhe une bashkohem me grupin e mesiperm.puna eshte ti besh te tjeret te ndjekin pa pasur nevoje per melodramatizem.do shkruaj dhe une nja dy rrjeshta nai dite ne lidhje me kete.

  4. Sa shume qe qenke lodhur…!!!!!
    I paske kushtuar nje faqe te tere, (madje me shume se sa kisha shkruar une vete ) nje shkrimi qe sipas teje nuk vlen nje grosh…!

    po perse gjithe kjo vmendje moj cupe, mos harxho kohen kot me gjera “pa vlere”…

    p.s
    zot na ruj

  5. soap mi, dhe Rrogozhine biles.

    simpatizoj deri në rreshtin e fundit. hmmm… ok, rreshti i fundit më bën të përpëlitem ca… ja ta mendojmë njeherë…

  6. Qyqja qyqja
    sa kollaj futna n’sherr ne shqiptaret🙂
    Une kam qejf kur kapen prej flokesh, sidomos tani qe njona e ka nickun “plot me floke”😛
    Tashti puna eshte kush do dali nga grupi i zvarranikeve te kapet prej flokesh ?
    Bleta vete ? Apo nai tjeter me leshra te gjata ???😛

  7. Cmu kujtun gjithe ato barcaleta me SOAP😛
    ———————————————–
    Sapuni…

    Një person pasi bleu ç’farë kishte për të blerë në dyqan,
    pagoi gjithçka dhe vuri re që i kishin ngelur edhe 15 lekë kusur.
    Duke qene se nje sapun kushtonte vetëm 15 lekë, ai i thotë shitëses:
    – Më jep dhe një sapun dhe lahemi bashkë (per kusurin).
    Shitësja e shikon me nervozizëm dhe ia kthen:
    -Shko e lahu me të tëmë !!!
    ——————————————————-

    Babai i thote djalit:
    – Ec bir lahemi me babin
    – Jo nuk vi,i thote cuni
    -Po ec mer bab lahemi bashke
    -Jo nuk vi serish djali.
    Mbas shume lutjesh djali pranon, duke e sapunos babai djalin ky rreshket dhe tak mbahet ke VEGLA babit dhe keshtu shpeton,i thote i ati:
    – He mer mistrec , te ishe la me Satom kishe thy koken ,ku do u mbaje😛

  8. @Floknaja, nuk eshte faji im qe je shembull perfekt per idene time. Pastaj une kam besim tek ty prandaj te kam vene ne dukje te metat, keshtu qe mos i bjer me shkurt here tjeter, por vertet shkruaj qe t’i meritosh lotet e solidarizimin tone.
    Fjalet i merr era mos harro, dhe hakmarrja me e mire eshte te me besh mua te ha fjalet e mia. Ose ndryshe, do te me lesh te vdes pa gabuar asnjehere…

  9. Tena, une nuk kam problem fare me romantic writing. Nuk jane libra qe i lexoj me deshire, por gjithesesi edhe aty ka mjeshtra te vertete te shkruari qe jane shume te suksesshem. Puna eshte se ata kane arritur aty me mundime, dhe shumica e shkruesve sot shohin vetem suksesin dhe shkruajne sipas formules, duke humbur cdo lloj talenti, individualiteti dhe magjie. kete nuk dua t’i ndodhe flokeshumtes se lenduar.

  10. mbase nuk kuptoj mire inglish kush eshte ‘flokshumta’?

    nderkohe siç kam thene me siper, jam kurioze per gjithshka dhe i jam nje shans (ha ha sikur varet nga une!) çdo libri qe ka kritika te mira (apo ekstreme kritikash). Pra edhe une lexoj gjithshka dhe vleresoj vertet te shkruajturin!

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