today was spring cleaning day. i folded, stacked, rearranged, ironed and filled three garbage bags with used clothes, while my mother stood by with tears in her eyes and thanked whoever was listening about the miracle that her eyes were seeing. to her credit she did not even offer one comment for fear of scaring her good fortune away.
so to the brim the garbage bags were filled and to the goodwill pickup place they were left, off to delight who knows what hillybilly with the checkered shirt that my cousin acquired in a moment of madness and never wore, then handed down to me. i never wore it either, but i kept it because i thought that i could be sexy lumberjack for Halloween. ha-ha. maybe my 16 year old baby-doll dress that i wore when i was thin (yep, it is true) will be placed in a lovely closet with a lovely teenager who will not sit on the pavement on it.
i like to think that all my clothes will find lovely homes with deserving owners who’ll feed them plenty of fabric softener and never leave them buttonless. personally, i give my clothes a good talking the first time i bring them home, educating them on the difficult life ahead and letting them know who’s boss. no snotty valentinos or wilful chanel in my closet. only sensible dkny and lauren, and maybe some strange outfit that had cute buttons. everything else does not last long.
it is hard to be separated from your clothes even if you have not worn them for 10 years or so, because they do not fit you anymore, you washed them with bleach by mistake or the buttons decided to take a vacation. they are like old friends who bring to memory good and bad things, like the loyal black skirt i bought for a date that never happened, the tight pants that really went with “i like to move it, move it”, the little black mini, a must have for any self-respecting East European, the threadbare red sweater that everybody in my family hated and i only gave up when the sleeves fell apart etc, etc. gone is the too-small shirt together with my hope that one day i will slim down enough to fit into it again, and the cheap incongruous tanktops that shed glitter everywhere and made me look so out of it that i brought “fashion” to a whole new level. gone is my bikini with the broken clasp and the dress with the broken strap which delighted all beach and party goers alike the times i wore them.
in the garbage bag they go. and then out of the house, together with unwanted and deformed shoes, slightly smelly socks and unsightly underwear. and then it’s time of makeup, bath products and old magazines. i am addicted to makeup shopping, even though i often go without makeup. i like to imagine myself being smashing everyday, one morning channeling lolita, one morning madame pompadour, and one morning cocco chanel. makeup is a fun game but like anything else it needs time, dedication and commitment. and i am not known for being rich in any of those.
the same goes for bath products. i have sampled every possible bleach, wax, haircolor, shampoo, scrub, body splash, glitter, powder, etc etc etc. for example, my shelf contains shampoo with conditioner, deep conditioner, leave-in conditioner, detangler, hair straightener, curl definer and bouncer, hair serum, gel mouse hairspray, pomade, flat iron, hair dryer, combs, brushes, end nourisher and God knows what else. and yet, my hair is mostly in a frizzy ponytail everymorning, swept away from a swollen face that becomes normal only after the second coffee.
so, the garbage bags are the last resting place of all half finished bottless, cream containers and yucky sticky stuff forgotten in the corners of the medicine cabinet. i do this cleaning at least twice a year, always promising to myself to never again spend money on every new and shiny hairspray advertised on tv, but yet, i always end up with two full bags of unused grossities. ewww.
i did all of that today, and then i took a long long deserved bath, complete with essential oils, coffee and sugar scrub, which invigorated and cleansed me to no end. a friend of mine gave me the recipe and i must say, it is the best thing i have done for myself so far. my skin is smooth and the coffee smells delicious.
if you want to try, read below. just be careful not to mess up your bathroom or have your mom handy for any necessary aftercleaning.
sugar 1 spoon (greatest nature exfoliator)
ground coffee 1 spoon (good for celulite, and excellent aroma)
olive oil 1 spoon (vitamin E people!!!)
any kind of body wash (to your heart’s content)
mix all in a cup or saucer and use as often as you like.
guaranteed smooth skin. side effects may possibly include enthralled admirers, luxurious self touching and nuzzling, and an overwhelming desire to go out dancing and call in sick the next morning.