push my button

i was reading some back comments on another blog entry of mine, and i found this “push my button, make me come” comment from tropizma. and i thought what if there really was such a button? it would be a great help for mankind. possibly a bit like that Staples commercial with the big bright red one that turns everything into organized offices or sth.
list of good things that might come out of such a button:
less war of the sexes. he would know what to push, and she would get a happy ending. and vice-versa. all this without having to communicate.
a clear and definite location of the said button. men would have more time to watch sports and women would have more time to cook dinner.
there would actually be much more room for books with important knowledge.
kama-sutra would only be a one page diagram and it would be easier to hide it under the school textbook.
not only would dirty talk be easier to remember, but it would probably be obsolete. none of that sticking, stuffing, soaking and slathering talk thank you very much. (Imagine having to help with the Thanksgiving turkey after)
there would be less cheating, and it would actually be much easier to stay with the chosen partner for the important reasons, i.e. financial situation, appearances, taste etc.
a lap dance would cost much less.
the politicians would not be as easily corrupted.
some might argue that the button would make it too easy. well then we could possibly push the button legal age to 35. by that age the women are harried trying to show they can do it all, the men are already arrogant jerks on their way up the ladder and no one has the time or the patience to remember the partner’s body diagram. a few uuuhs, ooohs, aaahs for old times sake and then puuuff, push the button and everybody is happy. it is exactly the same now, but mostly without the happy ending. and the fortunate few who can get happy ending any time even without the button, well they don’t have to use it, do they? they can continue to show off.
of course there would have to be a legislation about use in public places, by disgruntled exes, overpowering older employers, ect etc. but these are just minor things to be hashed on the way out.
so bring on the happy button.
p.s for those who argue that the button exists, i agree, but the operation’s manual is too difficult.

28 thoughts on “push my button

  1. yah, and the world would come to a standstill: scenario – uhh, push my button, make me come, yes darling, there… ohohoho, do it again, do it again… want me to hold longer? ah, yes, do, by all means. Bzzzzzzz, aaaaaaaahhh… again, again! Hihihi, you naughty, naughty, mmmm, button. c`mere you, my, my, that`s a big button, what did we have to do today? Ah, screw that, push it again, again!😀

  2. hahahahahaha! B, losttext, më shkritë që të dy.

    p.s. dhe mua, si yummit, më pëlqejne shumë këto ngjyrat e ullinjve. (te ata të mitë sot pashë dhe të bardhë dhe blu… sa për muhabet…)

  3. it helps in making it more funny, if my dialogue above is said in the voice of stewie, of Family Guy, for youse who live in the americas.🙂

  4. This button idea of yours is pure genius.
    It can have some negative repercussions , though. Imagine for example what it would do for the job market. We would lose the professions of prostitute and jigolo (aka male-bitc* , or like they say in my neighborhood: çun kur*, these brackets went too long, I know, everybody got the idea). I guess the society would not need a profession such as button-pusher. That would be too dull. Albanian economy could collapse. But who cares, we would all push our buttons and be happy ever after.

    Linguistic implications could be interesting. Instead of telling people to f*ck *ff, you could say: why don’t you go push your own button? Nahhh, that doesn’t sound right.

    And like that turbofolk singer said: “U knoqëm tu u knoq!” (ke blogu jot dmth)
    Përshnetje, Blete!

  5. strangie, who said the jobs will be reduced? only the job descriptions will change to Professional button-pusher. we can say : He’s such a bp, or You b.p. you, or push my button, push it all night long…(please stop me! help!)
    lost, happy birthday. i can tell you got your buttons pushed for your birthday😉
    yummy, me like the new name too.
    aklli ti sill martinin une sjell ullinjte.😉

  6. also – can you imagine having a button malfunction? those button mechanics will become the ruling class for sure!

  7. was reading some back comments on another blog entry of mine, and i found this “push my button, make me come” comment from tropizma. and i thought what if there really was such a button? it would be a great help for mankind.

    Qafir to the rescue once again. The button is already out there, though I am not sure to what purpose as the female orgasm is of no evolutionary import (that I can think of:)

    http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2001/02/41682

  8. “The button is already out there, though I am not sure to what purpose as the female orgasm is of no evolutionary import (that I can think of:)”

    Qafir, you buzzkiller…

  9. let me kill your buzkiller buzz by saying that the f.o. helps suck up the sperm, cause the sucker can barely make it by itself🙂. also, of course, to select many out. so think of that next time she doesn’t come😀

  10. Trop,

    let’s tell Qafir some more truths: yes orgasm has a lot of value to the female in terms of selecting the better male. Have you ever heard of male competition (better said: sperm competition)? No? Then hear: If one guy is not able to give us an orgasm, or is not able to give us a good one, than he is lost to the next male that can do it. Because, as Trop very correctly mention before: sperms cannot make it alone to get up there without the help of the orgasm (unless they are turbosperms). So, Qafir, I hope this was of some practical (and evolutionary) help to you and to those interested on the subject.

    Blet, this button thing is very funny

  11. @qafir, you should always read the last sentence so that you seem like you have read the whole thing:
    “p.s for those who argue that the button exists, i agree, but the operation’s manual is too difficult.”
    in my opinion this includes males and females.

    trop, i think those mechanics will have the best job in the world.😉

    selfie, i think he knows it but he’s just wying for a little attention. and hoping his better half is not reading what he is writing.

  12. …. megjithse B, kur shef se cer na pret, e para thu shyqyr qe lindem “heret” enough😉 dhe e dyte, fake me baby, fake me all night long…. hihihihiiii….

    PS ky silvesteri mos eshte nga kolonja gje? 😉 😛 😛

  13. me fal, s’rrikam dot pa tre komente: B, e kupto tani nga vje titulli “fluid transfer”…. me sa neveri e thot sandra….

  14. Blete, I had the idea of modifying the button a bit. Making it color changable (needs sensitive – tagged by color). It works like this: it is green at the begining (no need for anything) and with time it becomes orange and at a final stage red. Orange leaves a lot of space for playing around. Red means: push the button! Think of it: if a politician has a red button for corruption (and he has to show his button publicly) everybody in the street can press it. We don’t let him to come to the red color, in the first place. we can push the button already at orange.

    In the case of sex I am not that clear: what is that bring more pleasure, the pushing of the button or the chosen hand (person) to push?

  15. Ok I dont get it!! Will no one mention the fact that button has already been (accidentally) invented, and that Medtronic Inc. is testing a commercially viable unit?

    I’ma goin to go outa on a limbo here and say: if it ever makes it to the market the West will be doomed.

  16. If one guy is not able to give us an orgasm, or is not able to give us a good one, than he is lost to the next male that can do it.

    The praying mantis has come up with the most ingenious way to counter this competitive conundrum. While the previous chap might a high quality F.O. to the female, the next praying mantis has a member wonderfully equipped with a scoop at the top of his penis, thus making sure that it is his boys who do the flying, and the F.O inducer’s who do the dying.

  17. qafir,

    the female p. mantis will accept the second male only if she sees a benefit on him. Nothing more than that! As much as I know there is no raping in insects (some violence, yes), so the male cannot do anything if he is refused. Above all, if I were a mantis male I would first make sure the female doesn’t eat me (they say, don’t approach a p. mantis female when she is hungry).

  18. In that case, we the kings of the mammal kingdom have to be doubly thankful to Father Nature:

    1) for the mammaries
    2) for males being considerably larger than the females

  19. emigranto, see how easy it can be? just push a button and we’re off to la-la land. no need for chocolates and stuff.
    Selfie, i like the idea of the color coded button! but it’d have to be the button itself, not the hand that pushes it. we give the hand undue importance i’m feeling.
    qafir, you have way too much time on your hands man.

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