Well, this whole period has been a rollercoaster of nothing. While I clutch my coffee cup every morning and go through the paces of an awake person, my inner bear is soundly sleeping, thinking of spring and honey. There is snow outside, the icy, prickly kind that crushes under my heels. In a way it makes me feel happy because I can tell myself that global warming is not as close as it seems. It terrifies me so much that I look suspiciously at every tall horse in Central Park, trying to think what to do in case they fart. Don’t they know they contribute to global warming? There should be a law.
I have problems reading about global warming. I mean there will be storms, and it is not going to be close, and our planet will disintegrate and life as we know it will end, and my memory will be gone. Pouff. Dissipated into thin air like gas. Possibly adding to global warming. So why not enjoy the earth instead of saving it? Who am I saving it for, the descendants who will be these scary mutants with green scaly skin, (to survive the devastating weather) and will have sex only one time a month through internet? (now wait a moment, that is actually happening now!)
Well, maybe we forget the sex issue, but really what should we do? Save the world or enjoy it? I mean I want my chance at a fur coat and monstruous BMW too. And some crocodile shoes. It is not like those scaly sons of good mothers would think twice if I was ever thrown in their pond. “Ow wait, let’s not eat her because she’ll recycle and save the planet!” Nope, they’d sink their teeth in my abundant bum and grunt in satisfaction too, never once reflecting on their poor children who would inherit an eroded earth.
Why can’t all nice things come with a fur coat? (My hairy friend might disagree, but he does not count)
Another dilemma to ponder while my neighbor’s kid alleviates himself of unwanted gas.