the superintendent I (rated SSS for scintillating superintendent story.)

oh man, the bathtub was backed up again! just when she was looking forward to the nice relaxing sleep right after her nice relaxing bath, she was faced with this dirty but aromatic water, too stubborn to go down the drain, or too weak to fight for exit with the coarse hairs she had just shaved off. come on man, give me a break, she thought and plopped the plunger over the murky drain, without bothering to put any clothes on. there was nobody to see her, and she did hate the dirty clogged drain which usually left a very nasty ring in her precious bathtub.

of course if Todd was there he’d take care of it for her immediately. he had a knack for unclogging her old drain and rheumy sink, always making her feel tingly inside whenever he reached for the plunger. that strong, wiry body became one with the handler and the grunting escaping his lips could have been a symphony to extasy. extasy symphony, the same one that was now escaping her own lips as she pushed with all her might. of course, that jerk Todd now was gone, together with his sexy grunts and his fetish for pimples. she hated him, hated him, hated him.

the plunger skipped, making her knock her elbow on the dirty bathtub and whimper like a little dog. that’s it! she thought and threw the plunger away. i gotta get the super in here. no matter that he was such a creepy middle aged man who spoke English with no care whatsoever for the ears of the other person. well, he did keep a clean building after all, even if she had spied him one day inhaling the underwear of the very buxom blond in 3C. and even if she knew that he kept a stash of porn in the basement that he played almost nonstop. but she hated a clogged drain.

she could not find the superintendent’s number, so down she went, after throwing on an old pair of Todd’s boxers, (that bastard) a tank top, and a pair of flurry slippers. her hair was still wet from the shower. she knocked at his door on the first floor for a really long time before it was finally opened an inch and one of his sharp blue eyes and piercing nose stuck through.

-vat you vant? -he asked

-my bathtub is clogged. can you please come and fix it? -she asked a bit more irritated than she felt.

-no time now. i fix tomorrow.

-but, but it is stuck. I need a shower- she desperately lied. -come, please. at least, just look at it.

the super murmured something with that strangely full mouth of his and then grunted assent. she went back to her apartment, and checked out the dirty bathtub again, while waiting for the super to get up the stairs. 

” i just have not had the time to finish this. so, while I work on the rest, please let me know what you think of the first part and whether you can guess the ending. B”


18 thoughts on “the superintendent I (rated SSS for scintillating superintendent story.)

  1. Is this a contest? End guessing? OK, I’ll give it a try:

    The super says he will be up later in the evening. He comes unannounced at 2 o’clock in the morning, rapes the girl, fixes the tub and takes a massive dump clogging the WC this time.

    Is this too gross?

  2. Some corrections, blete.

    “and she did hate the dirty clogged drain which would usually left a very nasty ring in her precious bathtub.” – Needs to be ‘which would usually leave.’

    “of course, if Todd was here,” needs to be ‘of course, if Todd was there,’ because the story is being told in the third person, she, and not I. If the latter was used, then “here” would have been correct.

    “buzom blonde” – buxom blonde.

    “a creepy middle age man” – ‘a creepy middle aged man.’

    I’m sure these result from haste; I just thought to point them out. And also, maybe you have explained this elsewhere, but why dont you use a capital letter in the beginning of your sentences? If you follow the other rules of writing like commas and whatnot, why not this one? It is irrelevant, indeed, but however, I think it would give your overall writing a cleaner-cut feel. Good luck with the ending of the story! 🙂

  3. strangie my friend, you do go for the maccabre. you’d make a perfect horror writer. :p
    lost, you are right. i write this stuff as it comes through my head and never revise it.
    in some pieces the lack of capitation is intentional, because i think it conveys inner thoughs much better. however, in this case it is pure laziness.
    i thank you for the time spent reading and please continue to correct me.

  4. mono, the women have baths not because they want to get clean (we shower every morning for that) but because they want to relax. and maybe imagine a tall dark and handsome stranger (or two) in the bath with them.
    besides, mixing dirty water is the best bonding experience between a couple. so get ready because your dirties are about to be stirred.

  5. B, I certainly hope this will be better than the “delivery guy and missus at her home” kind of story :)). Just kidding. So far interesting, some more spice is needed though. My two cents.

  6. I have a feeling that something “bad” is going to happen with the supper and his “vat do u vant” accent:PP Why i have a feeling that Todd is going to come back when the supper is right there in the bathroom, while trying to fix the bathtub:D

  7. “the women … want… maybe… a tall dark and handsome stranger (or two) in the bath with them.”

    spicey, all right! 😀

  8. B, very interesting the first part. It could continue with the creepy man thinking that meqë goca zbriti poshtë me boksera dhe e lagur, do kishte ndonjë mëndje të keqe. Dhe mund të vihen anash goca që mendon për Toddin intensivisht dhe housekeeper-i për gocën. Such un old story, but always in.:)

  9. shum’ pun’, shum’ pun’, mono… ej, po hape atë dreq blogu se sherri jot, spami i Bletës m’hudhi ne mu përjashta.

    B, pjesa e tretë mund të vazhdojë me atë gocën që afeksionohet mas creepy mani-t…pjesa e katërt ajo sheh që si Todi i bukur dhe creepy man-i janë njëlloj egoistë, atëhere thotë më mirë të kënoqim sytë të paktën dhe r(r)ilidhet me Todin. Pjesa e pestë dhe e fundit: e le dhe Todin dhe del në një apart me kanalizime t’rinovume.Fund.:)))

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