hello mr. s., i will be out of reach for a couple of weeks since i am going back home.
going home ey? i thought your family was here.
yeah it is. but i still miss my grandmas.
hmm. well have a good trip and congratulations.
i think you’re gonna get married (wink-wink). send us an invitation, because we are coming to the wedding anyway.
the conversation leaves me openmouthed. not that i have not heard these words before. some of the questions i have fielded, would make the Inquisition very envious if it was still running.
it seems that all albos go back home only for four reasons:
1. to see family
2. to go to weddings and/or funerals
3. to get dental care
4. to get married
once immediate family is transferred back in the States, all close friends and cousins have been married and or dead, the new job provides health and dental plans and all ties are slowly severed with the motherland, there appears to be only one reason left for the 13 hour trip: getting married.
it is practically a requirement for guys to get married with an Albanian girl. they can have fun up the gazoo with foreign and exotic beauties but they will make their family very happy if they come to their senses and bring home an Albogirl. most of them have been cajoled, coaxed and plain seduced with pictures, descriptions and anything possible to go back home and choose amongst the fresh crop if there are no suitable ones in the US.
girls are different. their marriages with foreigners are not really frowned upon, because in the end they will change surnames anyway. that hyphenated stuff only works the lungs overtime and is a devil at spelling at the post office. however, after a certain number of years is gone they must be married and even exporting homegrown boys would do, if no suitable candidate has presented himself in the nearby area.
possibly that is why i get some strange winks and knowing looks when i say that i will be going back to Albania for two weeks. the internet relationship thingie is booming there big time, there are people connecting every second, falling in love, cheating, breaking up and connecting again without ever having seen each-other in real life.
the phone rings:
hey i heard you are going to tirana for a couple of weeks.
yep, i am
can i give you some stuff to bring to mom?
umm, is it roasted chicken or car tires? or number 16 men shoes?
no woman, what are you talking about? just some cash and some perfume for Goni’s daughters.
sure thing, bring them over by the house.
so are you going there for something special?
(et tu Brutus?) just to visit with my grandmothers and maybe go to the beach to relax. quiet stuff.
uhuh. so are you gonna invite us to the wedding?