I stepped on dog doodoo today. I have been in USA for 10 years, walked the streets of the Bronx and Manhattan for most of those and never ever ever stepped on doodoo before. I never look before I step, I trip once every three steps and I get muddy even when it is as dry as the Valley of Death. Yet, I never stepped on dog doodoo (still steamy) until today.
I think my luck is running out. I have a whole list of things I felt protected from, but now another taboo has been broken. Who knows what sin I am paying for?
Let’s see, I returned all the DVD-s, I tied Mrs. T’s shoes, I paid all my bills and did not take off my shoes in public this week. Why have you forsaken me God? Does that mean that I have to stock up on sunscreen now, because I am going down?
I remembered the squishy and steamy matter stuck to my espadrille. Ewww.
Instictively, I pulled my shoe off my foot and wiped it off on some innocent leaves of a nondescript plant growing right next to the dog doodoo. After, I thought how it would be to just be swept off the ground like that, be used as an excrement wipe, and then thrown away again. No say whatsoever in the matter. I shivered. We humans are truly without humanity.
Maybe God was just testing me and I came up short, using the poor plant as a wipe and abusing my human power. Maybe I was just out in the sun for too long. Either way, it is time to watch my wallet because God does not seem to be on duty any longer.