I stepped on dog doodoo today. I have been in USA for 10 years, walked the streets of the Bronx and Manhattan for most of those and never ever ever stepped on doodoo before. I never look before I step, I trip once every three steps and I get muddy even when it is as dry as the Valley of Death. Yet, I never stepped on dog doodoo (still steamy) until today.

I think my luck is running out. I have a whole list of things I felt protected from, but now another taboo has been broken. Who knows what sin I am paying for?

Let’s see, I returned all the DVD-s, I tied Mrs. T’s shoes, I paid all my bills and did not take off my shoes in public this week. Why have you forsaken me God? Does that mean that I have to stock up on sunscreen now, because I am going down?

I remembered the squishy and steamy matter stuck to my espadrille. Ewww.

Instictively, I pulled my shoe off my foot and wiped it off on some innocent leaves of a nondescript plant growing right next to the dog doodoo. After, I thought how it would be to just be swept off the ground like that, be used as an excrement wipe, and then thrown away again. No say whatsoever in the matter. I shivered. We humans are truly without humanity.

Maybe God was just testing me and I came up short, using the poor plant as a wipe and abusing my human power. Maybe I was just out in the sun for too long. Either way, it is time to watch my wallet because God does not seem to be on duty any longer.


11 thoughts on “Decline

  1. In my mom’s world, if you even dream about dog pp
    poo, it means good luck. She’d say you’re about
    to come into some money or something. But if tha
    at was true I might be tempted to step on turds
    all day long.

  2. well as you might have noticed, shit happens all the time (even after 10 years).Thats the answer to your WHY question.
    now I know you will go WHY ME? and WHEN? is going to be the next encounter, I cant help you there!
    Maybe you forgot to get laid, as from what I see you have helped mrs. T and your landlord to collect the garbage, in spite of paying your taxes. but I dont know, just a wild guess …

    and it is not about profiling the albanians in NY like in this video:

    so I really have to ask, whats with the prototyping of albanians in NY even from some ppl. down under in the far away, once they were warriors, Kiwi Republic of New zealand (If you have been to Wanganui River in NZ, you will know what I am talking about)
    then again maybe those albos “mafia wanna be” in NY, maybe they are just cheap thugs … in expensive cars. cant be otherwise given many facts and factors.
    Now back to your shit 🙂
    nonda bulka was ingenious when saying:
    inspire me God to keep always my head up, trying to spot you in the sky, because down here on earth, there’s nothing interesting in seeing the rememberances a cow/dog will leave behind.
    now to my understanding you Bee have been enlightened, and helped enlighten other people.
    however check your step in NY, as it might be full of SH … (po me SH shqipoje ama).
    As for the last sentence, dont worry he is watching you, or at least smb is in NY 🙂

    ah if Budha had a clue …

  3. clue, your point of view is certainly unique. and i might be considering Budhism if i am not made to sit in the lotus position, for some reason, first my nose itches, then my eye twitches, my chest is too low, my breath is too slow, my heart is too quick and my cheeks too slick.
    p.s never knew not getting laid is a sin. i shall certainly redeem that promptly.

  4. ah… gjynof blete, e marr me mend…. nuk i thone kot ne shqip llafit “u ngjit si dodoooo pas kepuce”.

    Nejse, c’e zuri njeriun e s’e hoqi.

    Quick question: did you want to go to
    pet’s mart and donate for homeless dogs
    or I am making this up? 😉 😀

  5. Let me rephrase for you: Not getting laid is against my religion actually
    But not necessarily everybody has to worship what I do.
    It is bad when you mix religions (my case in Asia) but definitely
    GOD is one, the one watching from above.
    I am just trying to find what went wrong.
    Whats your address? I will send you a KAMASUTRA BOOK.
    it will certainly help you seat on that lotus position, without being deprived of itches, twiches, breast issues, and breathing patterns. high Heart beat rate at the least.

    ah again if Budha had a clue and a phone (cell phone I mean)

  6. We all have to go through shit. In my neighborhood there are at least 4 families who have dogs. And, guess what, they all poo in the same area of the street, which happens to by very close to my house. At night there’s no light in the street, and I step on shit every other day. Sometimes, in partcularly unhappy times, or when a diarrea epidemy has struck the dogs, well, you can imagine my war-path to my doorstep. I use my cellphone light to avoid the brown-dark-brown stains on the asphalt, but sometimes shit and the asphalt happen to have the same color, and that’s when tragedy (and very bad smell) hits me.
    So cheer up, there’s alway worse. 😀

  7. sa kom qesh… strangeMAN, je i forte! ja car del kur autori ” e njeh realitetin objektiv”:

    I use my cellphone light to avoid the brown-dark-brown stains on the asphalt, but sometimes shit and the asphalt happen to have the same color, and that’s when tragedy (and very bad smell) hits me.

    strangeman, kjo do shkoje direkt e te striking lines in my blog! Thx!!!

  8. As they say “there’s always a first time for

    Cheer up and don’t let this bug you:)) If you
    happen to come by my area let me know so
    we could go for coffee!


  9. belle, i always end up there around 12,oo. would love to have coffee with you.
    strangeman as usually, you shone your cell phone light right on the problem.
    emigrant, what do i get as the muse of strangeman’s lines?
    clue, check your email. hehehe, i’m getting a new Kama Sutra. life could not be better.

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