Well, here is an “original” thought: Women and Men use the same words to mean totally different things (no comments about planets and such thank you!)
“I am a very good cook”
Man: I can burn meat on the grill with the best of them; or throw the egg whole in the frying pan (just fish the shell pieces out). You get to wash dishes and sleep with me.
Woman: I can thaw TV dinners or order out the best chinese in town. Oh yeah, I can also make cupcakes from the mix. You get to Ooh and Aah. Dishes are washed by housekeeper.
Me: I ask my mom to cook for me.
“I got the moves baby!”
Man: Shuffling on the dance floor, doing the spanking hand move thingy (it took me two years to get that one) or butting butts with whatever butt around.
Woman: Shaking that thang (no matter what music is on); doing the fake lesbian dance (you know two girls pretending to rub against each-other, beats me why it’s so popular), dipping head and waving hair about. Oh yeah also butting butts with whatever butt around.
Me: Trained circus dog that knows no moves but has to dance for the reward on the trainer’s hand. I also do the fake belly dancer thing.
“Hot and steamy and all night long”
Man: Approx after 10 min, “I already kissed you honey, now roll over!”
Woman: Do my arms look too flabby? How’s my hair? Reverse cowgirl, baby, who’s your mama? Better not, love handles will juggle.”
Me: Keep a book by the bedside. I’d rather be caught without protection, than without a good book.
I could go on for longer but I have to cook.