i have been in a general state of pissoffness lately and true to my character i have tried to stay away from the blog. i do not like rants. they give me diarrhea. but just like diarrhea, they clean the system, and flush out the poison. i guess it is necessary to flush the system once in a while.
i sat down to make a list of buggersome thoughts and people and it is exactly like going to a public bathroom with stalls. there are oaths; strange hissing, clicking and flatulent noises; and a general bad smell that permeats the place. but here it goes:
1. people who do not do their job, and then try to pin the fault on other people. i have a God Complex. i understand and forgive if somebody forgets to do something by the deadline and i am inclined to help cover up. i also never squeal to the supervisor. at my job though I feel like dueling in “Star Wars” with my supervisor as a gay light sabre, agains an old bitter divorced Darth Vader with its own overweight dark light sabre. Wzhzh Wzhzh Wzhzh we go. we point fingers, leap and sparkle, and nothing gets done. the curse of non-profit.
2. please lets not remain friends. i feel jealousy lately. a shameful little poison i can not clean my heart off, coupled with the worry that my friend/crush is making a big mistake with my other “friend”. the right thing to do, would be to give them my “blessing” and move on, since they will be together anyway. just don’t invite me to the wedding. i’ll be to busy stirring my cauldron and peering in my chrystal ball.
3. declarations. i just do not get the whole “i will love you until the end of the days” thing. it is very easy to get me into bed but i hate promises that can’t be keep and switch my mind from its usual protective mode. the more promises, the less inclination. i’d rather have a glass of red wine than a declaration. possibly distrust steams from my Lab origins, but that is a whole other bag of good stuff.
4. phone calls. i know that cell phones were put on this Earth for easier access, but i can’t seem to find the will to answer mine, especially after i have been asked for the thirteenth time to interpret under a subway stop. or if i am called just “to say hello”. i can’t seem to have a straight conversation over the phone and i hate the ring. i do not understand people who discuss their dog’s or their boyfriend’s “piscia” on a MTA bus. i might be the only one though.
5. the scale indicator. that snug little bastard who keeps creeping to the right and shows me that not all is well in the upper region. nope the belly it is not big because of bloating, and the pants are not tight because of shrinkage. it is that old enemy, the fat bestowed upon me by generations of well-wishing grandmothers and McDonalds. i see only fat people in the street lately, with big calves and humongous bellies and think about how long will it be before i join them. how long before the world is overun by us? wake me up thin before it is too late.
well, these are my pet peeves for today. now that i wrote about them, i feel a bit easier.