Things That Get Me

i have been in a general state of pissoffness lately and true to my character i have tried to stay away from the blog. i do not like rants. they give me diarrhea. but just like diarrhea, they clean the system, and flush out the poison. i guess it is necessary to flush the system once in a while.

i sat down to make a list of buggersome thoughts and people and it is exactly like going to a public bathroom with stalls. there are oaths; strange hissing, clicking and flatulent noises; and a general bad smell that permeats the place. but here it goes:  

1. people who do not do their job, and then try to pin the fault on other people. i have a God Complex. i understand and forgive if somebody forgets to do something by the deadline and i am inclined to help cover up. i also never squeal to the supervisor. at my job though I feel like dueling in “Star Wars” with my supervisor as a gay light sabre, agains an old bitter divorced Darth Vader with its own overweight dark light sabre. Wzhzh Wzhzh Wzhzh we go.  we point fingers, leap and sparkle, and nothing gets done. the curse of non-profit.

2. please lets not remain friends. i feel jealousy lately. a shameful little poison i can not clean my heart off, coupled with the worry that my friend/crush is making a big mistake with my other “friend”. the right thing to do, would be to give them my “blessing” and move on, since they will be together anyway. just don’t invite me to the wedding. i’ll be to busy stirring my cauldron and peering in my chrystal ball.

3. declarations. i just do not get the whole “i will love you until the end of the days” thing. it is very easy to get me into bed but i hate promises that can’t be keep and switch my mind from its usual protective mode. the more promises, the less inclination. i’d rather have a glass of red wine than a declaration. possibly distrust steams from my Lab origins, but that is a whole other bag of good stuff.

4. phone calls. i know that cell phones were put on this Earth for easier access, but i can’t seem to find the will to answer mine, especially after i have been asked for the thirteenth time to interpret under a subway stop. or if i am called just “to say hello”. i can’t seem to have a straight conversation over the phone and i hate the ring. i do not understand people who discuss their dog’s or their boyfriend’s “piscia” on a MTA bus. i might be the only one though.

5. the scale indicator. that snug little bastard who keeps creeping to the right and shows me that not all is well in the upper region. nope the belly it is not big because of bloating, and the pants are not tight because of shrinkage. it is that old enemy, the fat bestowed upon me by generations of well-wishing grandmothers and McDonalds. i see only fat people in the street lately, with big calves and humongous bellies and think about how long will it be before i join them. how long before the world is overun by us? wake me up thin before it is too late.

well, these are my pet peeves for today. now that i wrote about them, i feel a bit easier.


15 thoughts on “Things That Get Me

  1. 4!!!!!!!!
    f’in phones. text me, email me, facebook me, f’in send me a letter in the mail if you want. just don’t f’in call. and don’t expect a good conversation out of that call either. f!

  2. Tee Hee Hee. Next time i come to NY we should definitely take a shit together, or smth. 🙂

    You forgot all these people who try to stop you on the street, and think a stupid flyer will make me donate money to cure cancer or save Darfur. Once in a while, I actually make a point to study the subject and ask them as genuinely as possible specific questions about the issue at hand, US involvement, the factors of influence in the region, the leaders of their foundation, where does the money go, etc. and try to correct them as often as I can. “But US has been supporting these groups for years now” “What do you mean you don’t kno how my money is handled? How about you give me some of the money you made today to feed such and such. I’ll make sure they get it”. The purpose is to keep going until they feel totally stupid and hopefully quit the very same day.

    Also in the shit list:

    Train multitaskers who bump into you because on one hand they have their latte and on the other they have their ipod and of course they need to read the newspaper even though it’s crowded, and answer their phone, and send texts, and correct papers, and read gigandic books like Harry Potter and the Goblet of get the f@*k out of here and jump in front of the next train.


  3. me like it too much..especially the 4,3,2 points:)
    I hate talking aimlessly long on the phone.Is just so f.. stupid!I’ve never been able to talk longer than 5-10 minutes:)

  4. i can talk on the phone only to very very close ppl, like my gf, or close family that i can easily tell them good bye in matter of seconds, other than that… i get stuck and embarrased with other cousins from over seas that i’ve lost touch with, or friends … is just so hard for me.. or i have to be drunk or on drugs to really talk, maybe is just a personality thing and i have to talk to a psych.. but i know its not me only. Have you ever been in the situation when you get that cousi on the phone and with delight you shove the receptor into the hands of your dad or whoever next, who is clenching their teeth…. sikur luan me ta lash… 😀

  5. Bimbashi, you are one of those people! personally, i’ve done everything i can for those Green Peace people (they normally have cute guys handing out flyers so i am fully commited to understanding the cause)
    usually you see me reading, eating and sipping my coffee while hanging on to a one inch piece of rail on the subway.
    but come to NY and we’ll compare human waste colors. 😉
    eni, you have no idea how i hate phones, especially when i have to pick up because I have to arrange for sth. And when I pick up and am asked “Why you never pick up?”
    SMR thank you. fat wonderful is good but thin wonderful is sellable.
    gj.c. my family is usually afraid to ask if i will pick up and talk to the cousins. I only make exceptions for my grandmothers.

  6. Mua me pelqeu ajo pjesa me lab. se e di sh mire çdo te thote. Keshille miqesore nga dikush qe ka kaluar me sukses (rastesisht sigurisht) periudhen ku je ti. Ndro vend, shko ne nje vend qe nuk njeh njeri dhe sidomos nuk ke as familjen as fisin as kusherinjte, shoket e kushirinjve e çte duash ti rreth vetes. – sigurisht mendoj veç asaj pikes se pare. Nderkohe nese do te bisedosh me gjate me bej nje tel (ha ha).

  7. Ok, it’s a party… if Bimbashi comes to town, I will be there too…

    /wait Bimbashi… didn’t you PROMISE you would swing by MTL this summer? Are you standing me up cuz my titties aren’t as big as Bletezzzz’s

  8. As always you bring cool stuff to your blog and i like to read all of them. I agree with you on number 3 especially. It upsets me when people give a promise but there’ no intention in keeping it.
    Have fun and don’t let these things bother you too much. In the end you’re the Queen Bee:))

    Happy weekend!

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