I get a call. I get an invitation. I listen, I think then I accept or decline as the occassion is. But normally I accept. Then I follow through according to plan. Sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes I don’t, but I follow through.
I make a call. I issue an invitation. I explain the occassion and wait for an answer. What I get is:
“So, who else is coming? How long is it going to be? What will I get by coming there? I’d rather not, because I hate that jerk. Is what’s her face coming too? Why didn’t So and So call me herself but let you invite me? I’ll call you back. What, buy the ticket beforehand? What do you mean I have to call myself and reserve a space? Why’d you only call me now? Don’t you want me to come? Mama sent you to wash your mouth? (m’ka cu nana me la gojen?) Admit it, you never want to invite me somewhere. So typical.”
It is all a big headache. I have a friend who never shows up anywhere, but takes offence if he is not invited places. He always wants to know what the entertainment is going to be, who’s coming etc. etc. even when invited in weddings or birthday parties. The last time I invited him somewhere, he asked me if any “peasants” were going to show. I gently reminded him that he, in fact, would be the only peasant at the event. I am sure, he only showed up to compare pedigrees.
There is another one who simply is too difficult to invite. If I mention it beforehand, I can not get a commitment because there is full time school-work. If I just call up and ask, I get the ” You never really want to invite me anywhere” speech.
And then there is the friend I drag everywhere because she never seems to enjoy anything fun. Parties have very loud music, trips are too expensive, and movies are simply a loss of time. Yet, woe is me if I do not invite her.
Personally, I only accept invitations to events I enjoy and which might turn out to be worthwhile. Calling me at the drop of a head? Sure thing, I will still come if I can. Do not know Dick from Adam? No problem, I can always introduce myself to both and have an enlightening conversation. Change of plans and route? Just let them be reasonable and clear and I’ll be there.
I have started to dread the moment when I have to call and gather people for an event. I just want to say, none of your lip. It is an honor to be invited, and if you do not think the same way I do, at least have the grace not to say so to my face. Just decline. It is very easy. You put the tip of your tongue on the palate and then blooowww. No, thank you. It was not that hard, was it?
But no, they want to come. It is just that there is not enough want in my voice, not enough pleading. So, I am officially resolved to call whenever I am inclined to (which is not very often since I am phonophobic) and simply let people know where I am going to be at a certain date on a certain time, and that they are allowed to join me if they so wish. Responses other than Yes or No will be discouraged and classified in Non-Interesting information.