Friends and Flexibility

I get a call. I get an invitation. I listen, I think then I accept or decline as the occassion is. But normally I accept. Then I follow through according to plan. Sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes I don’t, but I follow through.

I make a call. I issue an invitation. I explain the occassion and wait for an answer. What I get is:

“So, who else is coming? How long is it going to be? What will I get by coming there? I’d rather not, because I hate that jerk. Is what’s her face coming too? Why didn’t So and So call me herself but let you invite me? I’ll call you back. What, buy the ticket beforehand? What do you mean I have to call myself and reserve a space? Why’d you only call me now? Don’t you want me to come? Mama sent you to wash your mouth? (m’ka cu nana me la gojen?) Admit it, you never want to invite me somewhere. So typical.”

It is all a big headache. I have a friend who never shows up anywhere, but takes offence if he is not invited places. He always wants to know what the entertainment is going to be, who’s coming etc. etc. even when invited in weddings or birthday parties. The last time I invited him somewhere, he asked me if any “peasants” were going to show. I gently reminded him that he, in fact, would be the only peasant at the event. I am sure, he only showed up to compare pedigrees.

There is another one who simply is too difficult to invite. If I mention it beforehand, I can not get a commitment because there is full time school-work. If I just call up and ask, I get the ” You never really want to invite me anywhere” speech.

And then there is the friend I drag everywhere because she never seems to enjoy anything fun. Parties have very loud music, trips are too expensive, and movies are simply a loss of time. Yet, woe is me if I do not invite her.

Personally, I only accept invitations to events I enjoy and which might turn out to be worthwhile. Calling me at the drop of a head? Sure thing, I will still come if I can. Do not know Dick from Adam? No problem, I can always introduce myself to both and have an enlightening conversation. Change of plans and route? Just let them be reasonable and clear and I’ll be there.

I have started to dread the moment when I have to call and gather people for an event. I just want to say, none of your lip. It is an honor to be invited, and if you do not think the same way I do, at least have the grace not to say so to my face. Just decline. It is very easy. You put the tip of your tongue on the palate and then blooowww. No, thank you. It was not that hard, was it?

But no, they want to come. It is just that there is not enough want in my voice, not enough pleading. So, I am officially resolved to call whenever I am inclined to (which is not very often since I am phonophobic) and simply let people know where I am going to be at a certain date on a certain time, and that they are allowed to join me if they so wish.  Responses other than Yes or No will be discouraged and classified in Non-Interesting information.


14 thoughts on “Friends and Flexibility

  1. “The last time I invited him somewhere, he asked me if any “peasants” were going to show. I gently reminded him that he, in fact, would be the only peasant at the event. I am sure, he only showed up to compare pedigrees.” ..this killed me:)
    I do hate long , meaningless and mostly prolonged phone calls.I also hate people who can’t deceide or act like they could’t..peak of hypocrytes!

  2. hmm. well it went something like this:
    -so who’s going to be there.
    -just some of my friends. you already know me and two other people anyway.
    -are they from somewhere decent (tirana) or all peasants (katunare)
    -if you put it that way dear c., you are the only one who’s not from the city at this event. we are basically doing you a favor by letting you hang out with us.

  3. Ju pershendes me kengen “katunare mbete”

    Me e bukra eshte se njerezit mbeten provinciale ne mes te New York-ut…

    And as far as invites go, I would go out to any event with you… you sound like so much fun… too bad I didn’t know you when I lived there…

  4. I hate difficult people. I mean, I don’t really hate them but I am so easy going that I get easily annoyed by those who are not.
    Party poopers are just that and folks who don’t like to do anything should never get the chance!

  5. the thing is, people do not understand that the fun is made by them. they want to go some place fun and some worthy, forgetting that they bring the worthiness with them. personally, the few times I have depended on other people for fun, i have been disappointed. The Bring Your Own rule does not apply to drinks only.

  6. Te gjen belaja me Shqiptaret. Njerez te tille s’jane as mirenjohes as dine me tregu miresi ne raste te tilla, vetem te merzisin me gjepurat dhe prezencen e tyre.

    You’re better without them!

  7. bletezz, ne fakt edhe ti nuk je e detyruar mbase te ftosh te gjithe te njohurit ose t’ju telefonosh per ti bindur te vijne ?! Nejse edhe une do te kisha qejf te vija ne nje Party me ty por jemi nje çik si sh larg.

  8. Tetena, mos ma thuj dy here se erdha une!
    nese dikush e merr vesh nje plan timin, dhe me kerkon te perfshihet ne te, une e e ftoj. gezohem kur njerezit bejne qejf ose marrin pjese ne aktivitete informative.
    ketu qendron edhe klecka: njerezit presin ftesa por kur i marrin, nuk dine si te sillen me to. shumica nuk nisen nga parimi, do te shkoj per t’u kenaqur, por do te shkoj se me intereson, ose se vjen filani/a ose qe te them se isha aty.

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