planes, hotels, conferences and germans

i am officially convinced that  my luck is taking a vacation somewhere in the Caribbean archipelago, after it got tired of me and my Albanian vacations. unfortunately, i ain;t going anywhere this year either. instead, i am trying to better myself through a series of translation/interpreting workshops and conferences. hence, my presence in a turbulent and late plane, very long series of presentations, hotel fitness center (just to score some free apples for dinner) and a curious hybrid restaurant (Indian-Greek) with a rude waitress.

but it is not all to waste. in addition of perfecting my translation and interpreting techniques (americans do everything by Powerpoint presentation), i can now add another city to the list of what i have tangentally touched. because i ain’t seen anything, except a few rundown houses which belong more in the South Bronx, a huge wonderful medical clinic with the hottest doctor in staff and…what the heck, the doctor deserves a paragraph.

he is tall, dark curly hair, green eyes, behind intelligent looking glasses and fair skin. he is a cardio-thorasic surgeon so his hands are long and graceful with very nimble fingers. his voice is commanding, confident, rich in sounds and deep in resonance. And, no wedding ring!!!! i can’t hear a word of the very important presentation because i am busy casting him in “bee and the surgeon in 9 1/2 weeks”, and making a list of our wedding guests. i can also see balloons of red hot pulsating dreams and circles of blue birds on every single woman attendee’s head. I mean how lucky can one be? he is smoldering, smart, stylish and has an Italian lust name. he should come with his own drool troughs.

the presentation is over too quickly for my daydreaming, but at least now i am wide awake. the next doctor is pleasant looking, but a bit bland, which attract attention to his droll humor and inteligence. i actually learned a lot from his presentation, especially since i was alert, oriented and had no more hot surgeons to fill my fantasies with.

and then, we got the German. it is this pint size German Translator with a very thick accent and thirty pages of handout half of which is in German. she walks us through her translation process and attempts jokes (Germans = Jokes, not a very brilliant idea). I am only kept awake by daydreaming about my surgeon, when my German colleague leans over and whispers: “this is so borring.” well, you did not hear it from me!

the rest of the presentations was good and informative and there were no more distractions or stimulants. translators and interpreters are a nice bunch, because they are used to talking, so there is no “dragging out of the shell” process here, as well as they are very diplomatic (except the arrogant French chauvinist, that was loathed at first word). we have our own war stories, and sometimes wounds to show them. Here is one from a court interpreter:

“there was a case of a rape. the girlfriend was accusing her boyfriend of pinning her down in the bed and raping her over and over and over. the boyfriend was crying, shivering and not talking. he was a 4’8″ mexican with a very thick mustache and very thin body, she was a 5’7″ puertorikenia, who weighted approximately 300lbs and had very blond teased hair, Selena style. even the judge was having a little trouble trying to imagine the girl pinned down by anything else than a hippo or King Kong. however, the poor boyfriend was illigal so he pled guilty and did 6 months in prison.”

ai, ai, ai, ai. flying back home tomorrow.

9 thoughts on “planes, hotels, conferences and germans

  1. Getting richer: “hybrid restaurant”, “surgeon hands”, “German Translator”, “French chauvinist”, “a 4′8″ mexican and a 5′7″ puertorikenia”….

    Way to go!

  2. po gletsch, si ishte edhe nje here?

    “he is tall, dark curly hair, green eyes, behind intelligent looking glasses and fair skin. he is a cardio-thorasic surgeon so his hands are long and graceful with very nimble fingers. his voice is commanding, confident, rich in sounds and deep in resonance. And, no wedding ring!!!! i can’t hear a word of the very important presentation because i am busy casting him in “bee and the surgeon in 9 1/2 weeks”, and making a list of our wedding guests. i can also see balloons of red hot pulsating dreams and circles of blue birds on every single woman attendee’s head. I mean how lucky can one be? he is smoldering, smart, stylish and has an Italian lust name. he should come with his own drool troughs.”

    Damn, the girl can write! 🙂 😀

    I’d go for “Paolo”.

  3. it was actually “eric” but if he was born in Italy, he would have definitely been “paolo”
    so you are not that far at all.
    thank you for the compliment.

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