Daddy Dear

he sits on the chair in front of me and tries to make conversation while I eat like there is no tomorrow. I have just come back from work, half crazed with hunger and totally bonkers with stress. my face is longer than a horse’s and my allergies are acting up again. there is a sign on top of my forehead that flashes “DANGER! APPROACH AT YOUR OWN RISK!”. yet, he still sits in front of me and asks me weird questions about preaproved credit lines and lottery winnings notification letters; tells me stories from his friends sons and daughters and gives me the 411 on grandma (she escaped home again and went to visit cousins in another city without telling anybody); shows me the daily purchases of produce at $0.30 less than uncle and asks me to check the computer he found on the street.

“who knows” he says “maybe we do not have to buy another one”. he feels guilty about infecting our computer with about 200 viruses from all the game sites he visits.

yet, he is an intelligent man (he made me). so far, i have never won an argument with him, and still use his strategy when trying to win one with somebody else. so why can’t he see the danger signs on my forehead? why does he insist on sitting with me evening after evening and just talking of very unimportant, very mundane things, of which he knows i have no interest or knowledge of?

i have to take my eyes off the book i am trying to read while eathing, so as not to appear rude. i can not be rude to my father. my mother maybe a little bit. but never to my father. i try to engage myself in the very interesting and competitive field of collard greens and gallon of milk. i give an opinion on grandma latest health craze and try desperately to remember what my daddy said three seconds ago. i translate the latest lottery winning notification and explain to him (amidst too many “you don’t care” stuff ) that they are not real, and are tailormade for naive emigrants like… his best friend’s daughter who used to call home and tell them she’d won the lottery anytime she got one. but i can’t compete with my father’s friend daugher. i am too full of myself to ever consider his suggestions, i think i know everything and i never listen. and yet i do.

in the middle of all that everinvolving conversation, i realize that i have closed my book, finished eating and let my stressful day go. i am tired yes, but i am not edgy and sour anymore. my dad kisses my brow and leaves, smiling his infuriating allknowing smile. mission accomplished.


7 thoughts on “Daddy Dear

  1. Summer’s coming so we’re playin soccer almost every day.. for 2 hours a day…. is pretty nice since there’s so many chicks running around on the track too, too bad i can’t really start conversations with them other than just lines here and there, i’d feel like a pervert, they’re like 6-7 years younger than me.. but than again.. that’s not so bad.. i could get over that.. what you think

  2. well, it is up to you. if you are like Elvis, into the “a little less conversation, a little more action please” phase, talk to them. i am pretty sure you are tanned enough to attract their attention. besides, i am pretty sure they have you investigated, signed, sealed and delivered already.
    play nice sunny jim and you will have the perfect summer. but hide the angles of your albo head.

  3. Blete,

    You live with your parents? LOL (and I never use that acronym)….

    Mine are visiting for a couple of weeks and I am nervous already…

    I love my parents to death, but could never handle all the small talk and such on a daily basis… The super-repetitive “are you hungry” questions without acknowledging my answer, always followed by “I will make you smth to eat” alone are enough to drive a man to insanity …

    No thanks, I like living alone…

  4. and here i thought you were reading me closely.
    it is accurate to say, my parents live with me. after 7 years of living alone, i had to readjust to parents. it was not easy. not because they are not great, but because i am such a grumpy old grinch(ette?)
    however, enjoy them while you can. life shows how fleeting and precious time spent with them really is. one day you will think of all the infuriating little gestures they did as you find yourself repeating them to your little ones.

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