I get up in the morning, my eyes still glued shut, and my hair violently flying in all directions. Yet I remember to put my right foot down first. Oh my back is itching. Hmm, what does it mean? Remember my dad, ever the funnyman singing:
“Idris, my poor Idris
Your back will have no peace
Two lice decided to hitch
one to scratch and one to itch”
whenever he saw me rubbing against a doorpost. It does not make sense.
I get ready, and get on the bus, as my ears starts to itch now. Ok, I know this one. It is either going to rain today, or I am being trashed by some people. Nyah, who cares? But I do have new espadrilles on and I do not want rain to ruin them.
A bit further my eyebrow starts to itch. So I am meeting with a long lost friend or acquaintance. Is there a significance as to the left and right side? Because there are some people I sure do not want to see the faces of anymore.
Left palm itch. Nice, money coming in. Oops, scratched it with right hand. Money going out again.
A cigarette would be nice. Quickie while I walk to the train station. And of course I’d peek at its butt once I’m done, to spot the first letter of my future husband. I remember that I do not smoke.
Fudge, my mirror is broken inside my bag. Bad luck? It can’t get any worse than it is. The train just left and I hit my shin with my other monstruous heel, trying to catch it. Scratch that.
While waiting for my coffee and bagel, I run my fingers through my hair and some strands come loose in my hands. I can not throw them away because my head will ache anytime somebody steps on them. So. I gather them in a tissue and put them in my pocket for later disposal.
The street vendor spills some salt while packing my bagel. Throw it over your shoulder moron, you’ll get worse luck than a kicked shin that way! Never mind, he is already on to his next morning victim. I walk away, praying that at least this morning, my coffee has no sugar or milk in it. It is very hard to understand an order for black coffee no sugar, appareantly.
I get into the office, and my boss corners me almost immediately with an “inquiry”. He is one of those nice people that needs answers for everything “now” and stresses the importance of coming to work earlier, so employees can get settled without taking from the company time.
As I talk to him, my nose itches to the point of tears. I finally give in, scratch, then wipe the hand on my butt three times so that I do not fight with anybody today. Then I repeat, under the incredulous stare of my boss. I am sorry, but I truly hate fighting with people.
When I finally settle down on my chair, my lips start to itch. OOO kisses to come. Happy as a camper, even though there is no kisser in the near future. But, hey, You Never Know, right?
I scratch my lips with my teeth and sure enough, I bite my tongue. Ouch, I will eat meat today. This one possibly came out during ration times in Albania, because I eat meat everyday now, without having to bite my tongue first.
Somebody returns some money they owed me, which I have to spend on a philly cheese steak sandwich for lunch, the rain starts, my shoes are ruined, and our coworker that has been on one year maternity leave, decides to visit us with her 9 month old son. She leaves him with me while she runs for the bathroom, and, for some reason, he takes a shine to my face and decides to first bite my nose, then my lips. I guess I had my kiss after all.
And they tell me not to be superstitious.