“Ate” Cornbread and Feta Cheese

Finally saw the show last night. Kudoz Mz. Elza. She was very good, and it was worth standing for an hour.

I say finally, because getting four girls ready, in a car, parked and on the show with only 30 minutes off, is a feat rarely accomplished in whatever day and age. I am pretty sure that even in Stone Age, there was a caveman tapping the sundial, while the wife and girls were putting on their best mamooth pelts and rouging their lips with raspberries.

 Modern age girls, like yours truly, need their shower, their hairgel, three outfits tryouts, powder, lipstick lipgloss, eyeshadow, another outfit change, deodorant, whoops the wallet, shoes, hair mousse and spray to set it, closing down an open blouse, change of pants, another mist of perfume, bra change, earrings, necklace, necklace change, ID, transfer stuff to purse from tote, bathroom trip, and go. To top it off, there were four of us trying to use the same bathroom mirror. But I digress.

We finally made it through the traffic, parking, high heels totering on 48th street, a surly door person and no seating at the theatre with only 30 minutes delay. But we were there and it was truly worth it. The stage was simple, with only a few props, and Ms Zagreda was very good at using them and engaging the audience’s attention. She was engaging and entertaining in turns, and had the accent of Montenegro Catholic Albanians down pat. As much as some things hurt to hear, they were funny and a bit too close to home.

Of course, I was born and raised in THE Capital City and so were my parents. Nobody ever had ANY doubts we girls were going to College. But there were different reasons for it. My grandpa, who taught me how to read at 4, told me College was another bracelet for my future husband. The family plan was that by College I would have found the man of my dreams (from a good Alb Family of course) and settle down. By 30, i’d have my kids, my career and my life next to mommy, daddy, in-laws, and other happily married couples. Extra-curricular activities such as Ballet, Painting, Acting, Muscle-building etc. were quietly weeded out and replaced by the most necessary skills in a girl’s life, needlepoint, crochet, sawing, dishwashing, laundry etc. I was heckled into sitting like a lady (close those legs and sit straight, you are not a man!); respect my elders (‘less my in-laws returned me on Monday); serve coffee on a tray (to the oldest man, then the oldest woman, then the possible candidate), laugh prettily and never tell dirty jokes.

So Buk e Djath hit a string, deeply hidden inside. Even though the pace was a little slow for me and far more jokes could have been packed into the show, Ms. Zagreda had a lot of stamina and was easy on the eyes, a sure sign that the show would be a success. The overflowing theater showed the same. I wish good luck to Ms. Zagreda (who knew she had been in Law & Order?), and maybe hope to see her show translated into a movie one day (hopefully not My Big Fat Greek Wedding #2, Albanian Edition).

Afterwards, we had a good time hanging out at Maria Pia for a glass of wine and plenty of yelling, and then a gyro from a Park Ave Stand at 1.30AM. Sure enough, this morning I was at work bright and bleary-eyed, nodding on autopilot, and spilling the coffee everywhich way, most notably on my 83 yr old patient, a wonderful sweet and truly classy lady. I swear that was the last day I go out on Sunday (UHUH).

Anyway, again good show and if it ever comes around in your city, do not miss it. Take your Non-Alb Halves too, as it is in English and saves a lot of breath in explanations.

16 thoughts on ““Ate” Cornbread and Feta Cheese

  1. Liked the text!

    “Modern age girls, like yours truly, need their shower, their hairgel, three outfits tryouts, powder, lipstick lipgloss, eyeshadow, another outfit change, deodorant, whoops the wallet, shoes, hair mousse and spray to set it, closing down an open blouse, change of pants, another mist of perfume, bra change, earrings, necklace, necklace change, ID, transfer stuff to purse from tote, bathroom trip, and go. To top it off, there were four of us trying to use the same bathroom mirror.”

    Boy, what is this, holocaust?
    I thought all these things come with the “good”, like a salad with chicken parmigiano. 😀

    We need to respect the other unkonown half of the world better, as we take “…change of pants, another mist of perfume…” for granted😉

    Good job!

  2. My favourite is the 5th paragaraph (may be because i discovered i was not the only internet user to know what needlepoint and crochet is…😀 )

    Blete, as always, funny and plein d’esprit ( gjithe men me nje llaf😀 )

  3. “Extra-curricular activities such as Ballet, Painting, Acting, Muscle-building etc. were quietly weeded out and replaced by the most necessary skills in a girl’s life, needlepoint, crochet, sawing, dishwashing, laundry etc. I was heckled into sitting like a lady (close those legs and sit straight, you are not a man!); respect my elders (’less my in-laws returned me on Monday); serve coffee on a tray (to the oldest man, then the oldest woman, then the possible candidate), laugh prettily and never tell dirty jokes.”

    Call me old fashioned or conservative, but most of these values that you mention I highly regard.

    Surely there must be a healthier balance for a modern woman between artistic endeavors and life skills but the later still hold true. There is nothing wrong with aspiring to have a family and raise children and be a good mother or wife. Heck, I believe procreation is the core of the meaning of life. So I am with your family on that point.

    Furthermore respecting your elders is nothing to be mocked at. Nor is a ladylike behavior something “passe”. There is nothing more repulsive than a girl who is unnecessarily foul-mouthed, and laughs like a horse.

  4. Akullnaje, another long lost twin? It sounds more feaseable every day.
    ITS, you are not reading me carefully. I did not resent being taught to behave like a lady. I resented being molded into the image of the perfect Stepford wife. I did not see why my dad had to take me aside once and caution me not to beat up misbehaving boys any longer, because I was a girl, when he was the one who taught me boxing in the first place.
    I resent having to quit ballet at 9 because my grandma did not think it fit for a marriable girl of a good family. I refuse to apologize for the way I laugh, or express myself, simply because foulmouthed and twofaced jerks have Maddona-Whore complexes and cannot reconcile the two in a single woman.
    I cook for myself and for enjoyment of my friends, not to showcase my abilities to possible mothers-in-law. If I decide to procreate, I refuse to see the lack of a proper husband as something more than a nuissance.
    There is nothing wrong with aspirations of a healthy wonderful family, actually it is one of the higher callings of life. But there is something wrong with arriving there through abasement, hypocrisy and double standards. Also, there definitely exist well-rounded modern women and men, and I consider myself one of them. Refusing to fit a rusty mold is our best trait.
    And potty-mouthing, neighing and sprawling donkey poses are not our aspirations for ourselves or our life partners.

  5. Ok, nicely said. I see your point better now. You are just partially bitter with your parents, and their application of old days “common wisdom”.

    I have been bitter with my folks for the past ten years that I have been away from them too, for a multitude of “boy” reasons. I am just finally learning to forgive them for their mistakes in raising me, and move on. Part of our drama in the molding system was a that those values were a direct consequence of our “social realism”. So, I can’t just blame my parents alone for their flaws.

    Now, in our day and age, I hate hypocrisy and double standards too. I would never demand from a partner anything more that I demand from myself. For me, the lack of a proper wife who possesses a healthy mixture of old and new values, is a huge nuisance au contraire! 😀

  6. Sometimes, I feel angry about my family and their, what Blete calls, double standrats. They woulda if they coulda, but they shoulda…
    But than I think that prooving them wrong is one of my reasons of living… and as Blete says, Refusing to fit a rusty mold is our best trait.

  7. One should not loose grace in his / her natural disagreement with the old generations. Should not forget this is not a first time. Neanderthals experienced that, too. Actually no disagreement would indicate some clinical problem. So, let’s suck it up, overlook half-heartedly all the misfits, let ourselves get “blinded by a rainbow” and forget the rain that wetted your bangs or tears that soaked our eyelashes, don’t bang the doors either for rage or to show your presence or both, acquire dignity by the generous acknoledgement of it in the others – even if it might be ever so scarce therein.
    That is what differentiates boys from men, and possibly, girls from women.

  8. I dare humbly say (having been the child of
    somebody and being the parent of “threebodies”
    ) that is not as easy as one might think (to raise children) and that most certainly every parent does what they know by experience to be best for their child`s future.
    I wasn`t raised to be a family wife and my parents let me do pretty much as I pleased about pretty much everything, but I still found reasons to resent them and finally chose to live very differently from them.
    I believe that the discussion will be different once all of you will have their own kids and will
    fully understand how much (of what one is capable of ) one ows to his or her parents.

  9. hey, we all try to be different from our parents, until one day we look into a mirror and ourselves looking through their eyes (eric clapton). I understand this concept. Unfortunately, the road to reconciliation and healing is different in length, shape and strength for everybody. Some get tired, some get children, some get parents. We all do the best we can.

  10. …Some get tired, some get children, some get parents. We all do the best we can.. LOL

    … hey this was a good read as always. Time travel with the travel-hassles included. Good job, i’m not any kind of any literary critic but that was Something. I wish i put this much attention in my english class i would have Aced all my asignments, the laughs are making up for the credits though ;P

  11. For a moment i thought i was back in Albania and the words of my mom were ringing to my ears…..goxha pershkrim!

  12. One doesn’t have to take the anger against the parents or the will to act differently from them as a kind of hate and a not being grateful attitude (am I still writing in English? ). Times change and with it the way of living too. It would not be normal if we thought the same way our parents do in every domain. All I want to keep from mine are the values, the way to get there, not.

  13. fantastik pershkrimi.çdokush mund te gjeje diçka nga vetja tek shkrimet e tua.
    again a cool observation of people , cultures,habits,traditions..just awesome…

  14. “I am pretty sure that even in Stone Age, there was a caveman tapping the sundial, while the wife and girls were putting on their best mamooth pelts and rouging their lips with raspberries.”

    This sentence brings a smile to my face.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s