I should have posted this shameful secret a long time ago. But it is finally out and it is good to confess. Yes, I confuse everybody with everybody, and I can not get my brain to stop rearranging perceptions and memories. I forget birthdays, purses, rings. I regularly lose all credit cards and have their phone numbers on speed dial. And of course, everytime i clean out a purse I find a long lost credit card or a library card, or a metrocard with 50 cents in it and the like. what am I to do? Once, i left my whole purse in the snow, only to have it returned by a very scary biker with a mullet one hour later.
My cousin, and my heterosexual life partner (thank you Jay and Silent Bob) says that my name should be an adjective and admitted in the dictionary, because there is no accurate one that can define my condition. she used to take offence at my blanking out, but now she knows better. I think that God has also provided for my condition, because in the end, I always find my wallet (usually in the fridge), my hairclips (under the bed), passport (in the middle of that book i liked so much), single socks and various paper notes on the backs of store receipts etc. I left both my cell phones at my friend’s house the other night, and never noticed their absence until she called me to tell me about midday.
I also confused my third floor neighbor who has a teenager brother, with my second floor neighbor who has a toddler brother. I told her how much her brother had grown and how i liked to kiss both his cheeks and how cute he had gotten. In retrospect, I am amazed i did not get arrested for molesting a minor. The woman was too stunned to speak, so i only learned one month later about my mistake.
And then there are the names. there are some people who look like a name but then are named something else. No matter what i do, i always remember the name i give them, not the one their mother gave them. Like if there is somebody that looks like Mike, but is named Tony, he will be Mike to me for life, even if he tattoes his name on his forehead. That is why i become one of the obnoxious people who calls everyone sweety.
Well, i have learned to live with myself and my condition. I have given myself permission to make mistakes and feel embarrased, apologize and restart. As long as there is no malice in my heart, everything else eventually falls into place.
May you have a blessed day whoever you are and whatever your name may be. 🙂