Recently, I have started to learn Spanish. Since I am sort of broke, I thought to go the same route I went with Italian, and watch the soaps. Apart from Spanish, I have also deduced the following:

1. I have been preparing to be a Telenovela star all my life, what with the big hair, and bountiful bosoms, upon which my starr crossed lover, Alejandro is going to shed his manly tears, and over which, that puerco villain of Louis, to whom my father has promissed me,will be tearing my innocent love letters.

2. I know exactly how to change facial expressions for tragedy, and sob in the arms of my best friend, the scheming Nolita, who will decieve my querido Alejandro, by dressing like me, covering her face en la noche and baring the bosoms (which nevertheless will be the telltale sign for the rich but noble Alejandro)

3. I could be naive in half a minute flat, inadevertently giving the gypsy with a heart of gold, Romino, a chance to go honest and help me detangle myself from the clutches of that desaparecito Louis and return to mi old papa Alonso and mamacita Luz.

4. I will convey the exact expression of forgiveness with my soft, big and brown eyes, as my friend Nolita is tearfully explaining her evil intrigas to keep me apart from Alejandro.

Ah I could be so good at this stuff. But then again, they’d only offer me the role of the comic relief.

March 18, 2007 - Posted by | Uncategorized |


  1. bletezz na vdiqe – edhe une mendova nje moment te mesoja spanjishten per po… veç kuptova shume shpejt qe nuk kishte lidhje fare me italishten dhe e harrova si ide.

    Comment by tetena | March 19, 2007 | Reply

  2. this is hilarious…

    Comment by eni | March 19, 2007 | Reply

  3. tetena, eshte teper e lehte te mesosh spanjishten ketu, sepse cdo gje eshte ne spanjisht.
    dhe italishtja me ka ndihur goxha.

    Comment by bletebzz | March 19, 2007 | Reply

  4. Blete,

    Pse nuk ze nje dashnor Puerto-rican, edhe ti thuash “ai, papi, morenito, quiero mas!”

    Sipas observimeve te mija menyra me e mire per te mesuar nje gjuhe eshte “pillow talk”.

    Comment by its | March 19, 2007 | Reply

  5. its, per ate qe me duhet mua, me beso qe pillow talk is not the way to go.
    picture me saying to Segnor Espuente : “PApi damme mas leche” and him having a stroke while trying to do so.

    Comment by bletebzz | March 19, 2007 | Reply

  6. blete, me bere te qesh sepse me kujtove para 2 vitesh fillova te bej dicka te tille dhe se mohoj qe me ka ndihmuar per spanjishten, madje eshte shume e thjeshte per tu mesuar.

    Comment by belle_fleur | March 19, 2007 | Reply

  7. Hahaha. Kerkon edhe ti telenovelen perkatese sa here te mungon ndonje fjale?

    Comment by bletebzz | March 19, 2007 | Reply

  8. qellimi ehste gjeja kryesore, kur nisesh per te mesuar nje gjuhe. dhe mos kujto se ke per ta mesuar nqs nuk zhbiron dhe kulturen e tyre.
    pastaj a sleeping dictionary, never hurts.
    well, kur ke bountiful bosom, ti e di qe kushdo behet sensitiv per te mare ose dhene leche …hehehe
    te pakten latinet dhe shqiptaret.
    will check out your spanish when in NY:)

    Comment by cluephone | March 20, 2007 | Reply

  9. Haha, Blete je e modhe!!

    Edhe une te njejten gje si ti bej. Du me e mesu Spanjishten po skam kohe me marr klasa keshtuqe here pas here e coj nga kanalet spanjolle dhe si per dreq gjithmone telenovela kane.
    These people must eat, drink and breathe telenovelas!! :D:D

    Comment by Candyland | March 20, 2007 | Reply

  10. p.s. shikoni edhe Dora the Explorer per rifreskim fjalori.

    Comment by bletebzz | March 20, 2007 | Reply

  11. cluephone, bujrum po ta mbajti.😉

    Comment by bletebzz | March 20, 2007 | Reply

  12. kjo me kujton nje film shqiptar: ATA PO NA BEJNE THIRRJE TE HAPUR PER LUFTE …
    eh mqs jam pak deri ne tokyo, nuk bujt dot rightaway, mgjse kam idene qe ma mban … plus qe nuk dua qe ta le kete gje ne duart e my cruel albo-americans cousins ne NY.
    po never say never, se bota ka filluar te jete shume e vogel per mua. take care dhe mos iu ndaj mjaltit dhe … qumeshtit … ne favor te ketij te fundit.

    Comment by cluephone | March 22, 2007 | Reply

  13. yeah, yeah, yeah.
    Shef Montreali Bronksin e piqet Tokio. I am still trudging with my Spanish.
    Today i learned.
    “ME duele bastamente”
    My forearm is hurting something wicked from all the typing for you ingrates.

    Comment by bletebzz | March 22, 2007 | Reply

  14. let me make a revelation.
    it is true about all those cities.
    montreal is my favourite, though it is ruled by those french. but since we have taken the same oath, and asked GOD to save the same queen, feels like h0me.
    As for NY, havent made it yet to land a job, though might have liked to. too busy messing around asia. nevertheless enjoyed every day I stayed there.
    as for Tokyo, since I have been renting an apartment for quite a while (and this while might be longer than your american dream) believe me , ehste pjekur dhe po digjet bile.

    as for your spanish my friend Claudia can help you, but she lives in Burlington, CAN. nje cun spanjoll nuk te meson fjale kaq te trishtueshme.
    so chose your papito carefully. it might be your last spanish adventure.

    and last but not least, your forearm, wont be your body part of interest to me. all body parts are made for a reason. dhe shume here disa paguajne kusuret e te tjerave.

    e nisem nje cike shtrember, sidoqofte nuk dua te me keqkuptosh. wish I was in the big apple now, instead is the big MIKAN (mandarine, thats for Tokyo).

    Comment by cluephone | March 22, 2007 | Reply

  15. oh oh oh…. como me duele…. (selena)

    Comment by peach | March 22, 2007 | Reply

  16. po perse kur gjerat behen interesante, ne fillojme e kerkojme te falur? cluephone, edhe ne te kuptofsha une, nuk ta di shtepine ne Tokio, keshtu qe nuk te heq dot veshin.😉
    from a purely objective new york point of view, if you can make it here, you’ve made it anywhere, so it is worth it.

    peach, por favor, nunca llorar!

    Comment by bletebzz | March 22, 2007 | Reply

  17. NY … prandaj ndoshta shume nga emigrantet shqiptare shkojne ne NY se iu duket sikur if they make it there can make it anywhere in the world.
    eh … me mire te te heqin veshet se te jesh injorant.
    po cdo ta dish shtepine ne tokyo, ja sikur e kam sjelle koken ne NY, dhe mund tia heqim veshet njeri tjetrit ne mirkuptim te plote (I pull first).
    gjithmone duke pasur parasysh qe te jemi te dy ne kategorine e middle weight.
    by the way … gjerat vazhdojne te mbeten interesante. psh peach in japanese is momo, and same interesting this word is used for my favorite body part in women, the thigh.
    dhe si per ti bere karshillek shprehjes peach time, japoneset pelqejne shume pjeshket. po peach yne shqiptar eshte cun apo jo?
    ….adelante …

    Comment by cluephone | March 29, 2007 | Reply

  18. mos u merr me shqiptaret per perdorimin e frutave. mjafton te te kujtoj kengen e Dashnor Dikos: Vajza eshte si banania!
    shqiptaret vijne ne NY se i ka krahet e hapur per emigrantet me ose pa letra dhe se askush nuk te thote plac me goje. kur forcohen, levizin e shperndahen neper western frontier, ose shkojne ngacmojne geishat (si ti
    atehere duhet te kem gjak japonez se pelqej shume pjeshket, anime dhe sushi. po nuk ka burre nene te me beje te ndjek telenovelat japoneze.

    Comment by bletebzz | March 29, 2007 | Reply

  19. best season in Japan now … THE FAMOUS SAKURA … innocent and beautiful … deri ne dehje (me beso behesh tape dhe me sake) same with my asian love … so cute and pink, po pa fruta. te ishim ne shqiptaret do e kishim prere nje qershi qe nuk ben kokra … but I am still entertaining myself ne kete paradise per te bardhet. deri diku me duket sikur po jetoj dhe nje here Kazanxaqisin me librin e tij: udhetoj neper japoni dhe kine (a must for those who want to see asia).
    well sa per sushi nuk besoj qe ke ngrene ndonje here sushi te verteta. heren e fundit ne NY i kam flakur sushit qe na serviri nje restorant qe nga kati i 25 duke shpresuar qe do binin mbi restorantin vete, qe ishte poshte nesh same crossing.
    kushuriri im i dashur introduced me to the sushi master when we bought them, though I told him from the very begining, this dude looks like a perfect chinese.
    and there is no chinese in the world who can fix a tasty sushi, because sushi is a japanese delight.
    kur i fola japonisht, pasi i tha kushos qe ishte japones, ai kafshoi gjuhen dhe tha qe nuk fliste japonisht. a japanese who cant speak the language!
    anyway what difference makes for the people in NY, they still will eat the SAME sushi. same as the gooks look for you … they look “the same”. lets refrain ourselves (I am not a racist) and say the same difference instead of “the same”.
    guess what: for them we look the same too.
    anyway to make a long story short, my cousin start cursing me afterwards : F#$%, they will spit in my sushi next time I order …
    thats why I like NY.

    vajza si banane?! kjo mund te jete vetem nje kulture rugace shqiptare ne transicion.
    asian girls are like flowers always young and innocent at heart, albanian ones are goddess, beautiful and though.
    you like jap anime.? then you came to the right drunk Buddha. Samurai Champloo ( a must!)


    Comment by cluephone | March 29, 2007 | Reply

  20. did somebody mention peach?…… yeah, i am so out-of-seasonally ripe…..

    PS all japanese who come to US feel deeply insulted when they go to benihanas or happy sumos…. this is a courtesy of some old japanese acquintance I had, a certain Mitsuru Toma…. who always compared the cooking clowns in front of us with underdeveloped monkeys.

    Comment by peach | March 29, 2007 | Reply

  21. nje tjeter telenovele… you ought to like this one

    Comment by alone | March 29, 2007 | Reply

  22. alone, i was so happy to read for our boy. he had not posted anything new for a while, got me worried. good luck to krypa.

    Comment by bletebzz | March 29, 2007 | Reply

  23. cluephone, I am pretty sure that NY sushi is far from what you are eating now (and trust me, i am very envious). But i do feel lucky that i can at least get an introductory course to such an interesting culture.
    strangely enough, i could always tell chinese from japonese and taiwanese people. I could not tell you why, for the same reason that i could not tell you why a bought a sumo painting kit that i have not opened yet.
    The Japanese chef story reminds me of the Italian Waiters in NY.
    I will check out the anime. My favorite is Cowboy Beepop (from when I still had cable). Now i rent it.

    Comment by bletebzz | March 29, 2007 | Reply

  24. peach, now you will never go to japanese steakhouses again, right??
    the irony is that usually japanese are the world immitators, and now the world is immitating Japan

    Comment by bletebzz | March 29, 2007 | Reply

  25. no blete, i’ll still go fr hibachi… the difference is no double fried rice anymore….. and a new perspective on circus…..

    Comment by peach | March 29, 2007 | Reply

  26. We went for my uncle’s birthday several years ago. do not want really to go back. i thought the food was mediocre.
    now there is a little sushi place on 17th street corner of union square which is to die for. I am not sure anybody is japanese in there though.

    Comment by bletebzz | March 29, 2007 | Reply

  27. one must be born that way to like sushi…. you can’t acquire that ability…. you either have it in you, or you dont… DNA related, maybe…. sushi sindrom at chromosome X … :-) 😛

    Comment by peach | March 29, 2007 | Reply

  28. cool thing man. i always forget about youtube.
    thx cluephone.

    Comment by bletebzz | March 29, 2007 | Reply

  29. i hated sushi until i first tried one. piled up the soy sauce and ginger root and yum.
    of course i thought wassabi was the guacamole sauce so i popped it all in my mouth.
    biggest mistake of my life.

    Comment by bletebzz | March 29, 2007 | Reply

  30. cowboy bepop is crap when compared to SamuraiChamploo.
    qe mos ju vritet stomaku sic ka ndodhur me sushin (when not properly handled and introduced) edhe ky animation, SC, is westernized, sepse the real japanese animation are sooooo far away from all these …
    I am talking about those superb. anim. that will come out only in japanese and make sense only in japanese:)

    if you want the real DEAL (sushi-wise and further japanese-wise) , catch a direct flight from NY (some 12 hours), and make it with Andy, the very same cousin who caused all this sushi mess, as he is visiting me end of April, here in Tokyo.

    that ginger root is WASABI. used to spread it on our toasts with some other friends back in my university days, shocking every japanese in a range of few miles or so (strange news spread fast).
    the thing is hot, but as real GAIJINS(that means foreigner in japanese) and RASTAS (we are and always be barbarian for the japs, and therefore we used to call them with a cuter name PIKACHUs) we could basically eat and f… everything that appeared in front of us.

    till the next japanese encounter.
    PS. now I will be very interested to know how you distinguish between a chinese and a taiwanese.have been 4 times in Taiwan and 4 times in china, and still it is difficult for know the history, without having to visit the places, but believe me asia is the most dynamic continent I have seen, and definitely have poisoned my blood. but will make it back home one day, as the relatives visits are convincing me to cross the pacific.

    Comment by cluephone | March 29, 2007 | Reply

  31. well thank you for the offer, but for this weekend i am sampling Toronto culture (if i can find it :-D).
    anyway, if uncle sam has good news for me after April 15, who knows i might take you up on the kind invitation.
    for me chinese people have a very disinguished look, and i am fairly accurate in telling them apart from other Asian people. i know next to nothing about taiwanese culture and history, except that it has been a chinese place at some point and that they have very similar everything.
    japan has interested me since a very early time. i lapped up all the cliches and read all i could about kimono wear and fairy tales.
    i collect fairy tale anthologies from around the world.

    Comment by bletebzz | March 30, 2007 | Reply

  32. sampling toronto… maybe you saw that there is not that much to sample in toronto.
    i hope your uncle sam is working on those good news , as it has been quite a while for me, that I am not getting any news from my Queen. except bugging me with those letter from the embassy asking me to vote for ppl that I dont know …
    I dont know how you would look like, wrapped in a kimono (not as kinky as a jap I guess) … but all I can say about them is that they are so difficult to wear and soooo easy to take them off.
    thrilling the idea that you can get a japanese girl GOLLOMESH simply by a string pull.
    even me I tried once kimono on me (in a crazy party among japanese girls) and what can I say …
    now what you claim about the chinese is a little bit difficult. I have other ways to know them. I am talking about the real asian ones, as in NY things tend to be an illusion most of the time.
    since you collect things of interest from japan, I had a nice photo shot that you might like, but its better I mail it, as I am not that keen sharing with everybody.

    Taiwan and china are so far apart and so close in quite a lot of things. but not necessarily love each other as you know …

    asia is sucking me up, unless I make it out on time, with all its wonders and cultural well. But then again the albanian blood … is thicker …

    Comment by cluephone | April 7, 2007 | Reply

  33. do not worry, the rate asia is growing, you are only about to be sucked up about 100 years earlier, that is all.
    just go easy on the japaneze girls or you’ll go blind.

    Comment by bletebzz | April 7, 2007 | Reply

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