birthday (in lieu of an apology)

she wakes up,

with unlit eyes

takes a shower

trying not to wake up

brushes her teeth

puts on her boots

goes out to clean the snow

the cell quietly vibrates in the room

falls down under the bed

unheard.

today she is thirty,

she hopes people will remember

and her body will forget

but she buries her hopes under the snow

to be melted by the spring tomorrow.

she thinks of the treacherous weather

and her absendminded friends

she measures her worth against their atrophied  brains

and finds it wanting

she shovels harder

away from the burrowed car

into her feet

should she cover herself with the dirtied snow?

if only the sun was elsewhere today.

but it is there

mercilessly shining

she acknowledges the defeat

and goes inside

to face her birthday

6 thoughts on “birthday (in lieu of an apology)

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