Why can’t we indeed. Let’s put our heads together on this.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that I am trying to be friends with my crush, and he knows how I feel. Actually everybody knows it, even the gay hairdresser who does not understand Albanian. He is trying to be nice and I am trying to restrain from jumping him in the cafe. That is why our meetings make for very interesting reality TV.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that I am trying to break off a one-night stand that stretched into the span of several months. Apparently, I am not doing a very good job explaining to the want-to-be friends party that the conversation is just not that interesting.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that the man who bought me coffee is M(arried). Having a conversation with this gorgeous specimen of Middle Age Albania was not very easy. I mean, if you had in front of you a lot of gray hair surrounding a tanned face, deep black eyes and an easy and relaxed smile, what would you do? Yes, I am ashamed to say, I drowned the lust with coffee and chocolate mousse, so that I could at least pretend I was wired by the caffeine and not by that breathtaking giant with a 4 X 4 vehicle. That was that.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that I asked this question after a puzzling relationship with a yellow eyed devil who said yes. The eyes should have been a clue. Never trust a man with eyes the color of stagnant water. Anyway, I was just trying to recapture something that had never really existed, and he was hitting on my friends. It was a done-for story trying to be friends with an inferiority complex. So I really had no words for when he wanted the “friendship” rekindled.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that my current date is the kind “I can take home to mama” but I do not want to. She probably has the caterer and the printing company on standby, just in case I bring somebody like him home and then do not snare him. Small things like compatibility does not make my mother’s list of refused candidates. So, when he asks me why can’t we remain friends at least, I have no answer. I just make another date.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that I am not relaxed around people. I always look at them with suspicion on the kindness or interest they show, because surely enough, a motive surfaces sooner or later. Which pacifies me. Just don’t ask about why we can not be friends.