Dark forces rising

Dark forces must be at work tonight because I ended up in the wrong place at Port Authority. I mean I strolled right into that mofo, head held up high, my mind praying that no one had taken my favorite corner stall, when I suddenly realized that there must be either butch night out in the city or I had entered the men’s room by mistake. By the shocked looks of the people on both sides of the room, protectively cradling their tools in one hand and trying to zip up with the other, i understood the second was true.
To make matters worse, the homeless druggie who’d set up house in the corner under the sink, kept repeating indignantly: “Miss, this is the men’s room, miss, this is the men’s room, the men’s room, miss.” Then he got up an pointed me out of there. I obeyed, trying to become an insect, a molecule, an atom and begging that my future husband was not watching me in the meanwhile, his tool in hand and his pants around his ankles.
Later on, on the bus, the humiliation finally left its place to desperate reasoning. I mean I was always an open-minded feminist anyway. And I am over thirty. And it is nothing I haven’t seen before. And there is no law that stops men from using women’s bathrooms and vice-versa. And nobody saw me. Nobody cares. Nobody remembered my face two seconds after coming out of that bedroom. And I don’t really have to wear the same grey blazer anyway. I think i would look great in a shaved head, never mind the ocipicie thingies.
It must be the dark forces influence, it must be, since I found a hair in my hot dog this morning. It was a black and coarse hair standing defiant in front of my incredulous gaze. and then later i was late for work, and i missed my bus stop so I had to run like the wind (addmittedly a very fat and geriatric wind, but a wind nevertheless) until i caught it. so…watch out.
And hopefully tomorrow I will remember to look before I go into a room and before I start unbuttoning my own pants.

Early Valentine

Well, it is not St Valentine’s yet, but this takes the cake (and the bride and the groom) According to this BBC story, the cutie-pies in the pic below decided to elope to Africa for their nuptials, older sister (official witness) in tow.  She was 6 he was 5 and the official witness was 7. Do I hear the collective AWWWW!

I hope they end up together because when they grow up, the story will brand the girl as a crafty husband-snatcher and the boy will use it to get into as many girls’s thongs as possible. And the older sister will always have the shame of her younger sibling getting married before her.

I remember that I myself got engaged at 4 with my father’s friend son, only to break it up at 5 because he destroyed the little baby doll carriage, the bum. You can tell I was scarred for life.

“Doruntine” something worth seeing

Well, I have spoken to several people who saw this show and the verdict is unanimous: IT IS EXCELLENT!

reasons:

2 languages, English, Albanian.

actors are formidable in both languages. especially physically i heard.

represents our best legend in a deserving way.

it is wonderfully executed and faithfully to the original.=

if you need one more reason, something is wrong with you

I am planning on going this week, but all of you NY Bunnies should see it too. Drop me a line if you want to go together.

info as follows:

Divorce, Albanian Style.

let me say right off the bat, i saw the show tonight and i loved it. it is the most complete piece in English portraying Albanian Style living, so anyone with an american date, should take them to see it. even if we don’t all identify with the lifestyle, it makes us exotic enough in the eyes of americans to warrant a second look (the reason i am saying this is that i’ve always felt we are not exotic enough as foreigners. not all of us wear head-kerchiefs, strange jewelry on their boobies, or shoot guns at weddings. we need to establish an identity people!)

elza is great there, very  full of good energy, and very communicative with the voice of Kanun. if it was me though, i’d have made the jokes a bit more rapid fire, but she is dead on with the impersonations of different characters and entirely at home with her material. her aunt could have been my aunt, and her stuff was eerily similar to some of my own expenses with marriages and divorce. (to this day, the only separated but not divorced! people in my family are one cousin and one aunt. i think it is actually part of the reason why i am terrified of commitment.

the show is simple, with only one set and elsa doing all the characters as she seamlessly tells the story. luan bexheti does the voice of Kanun, which i liked very much. (did not expect booming from such a very well behaved gentleman, but that is why he is an actor and i am not.)  it is all very well put together, and you never get bored. the jokes are funny and you can’t help laughing and shaking your head in places, even though you are trying not to. (see, we albanians are also a very tough crowd to perform to, because we do not think that laughing out loud is proper and we are naturally sarcastic and totally in self-denial.)

i.e. -my parents never insisted on marriage like that!

-oh yeah? where did you grow up, the moon? and how many girls they introduced to you on that last trip home?

so that is it. go see it and enjoy it people, because it is worth it. and ten years from now, when you see Oscar reruns, and elza Zagreda winning the little man again, you will proudly say to your kids: “I was there when it all started, you know.”

http://www.smarttix.com/show.aspx?showCode=DIV8

Albanian Women Exposed. The Aftermath.

well, the big day came and went. we pulled it off, people!  Albanian Women Exposed was a big hit. and I looked absolutely smashing of course. lol.

we did get a humongous amount of people, to which I am deeply in debt and will repay as soon as possible. old and new faces surfaced, performed, got drunk, and appreciated art at the Producers Club in NY which was incredibly busy to tell you the truth. I had hoped we were going to have the whole place to ourselves, but business is business i guess.

Anyway, Keidi and crew came from Toronto looking fab-u-lo-so, the Spiro Clan showed in full force, and the Alikaj-related entourage was swinging with the good times. Of course Murataj families were the stars of the evening especially their most talented member (you know who I am talking about and no, it is not Andi). Miss Shehaj and miss Amet were simply divine, and the Ciftja couple was gorgeous. oh me like, me like. Eni and Mimoza we missed you too much for words. and the Albanian Women Exposed by heart, Pirra family-i love you all, especially the spice.

Deep thanks to the performers and good friends of my good friends: Linda Zoraqi who wore an Albanian costume for me; Arberie and Ernest (i am now officially your drooler); Fatrin Krajka (why you got to be gorgeous AND talented? world is not fair); Luan Bexheti (brave brave man) and John Skreli (you rock youtube even without the H), Elza Zagreda (Blond Brainy Beauty, don’t forget to catch her show on September 25.); Dhimitri and Lori Ismailaj (could there be more talent in the room?) and friends and friends and friends… You were all hot.

especially Lenny Gega. you had me as soon as you insisted on paying your entrance fee. i will hug you any time i see you even if you get a restraining order. true class, people, true class.

linda lovely linda, thank you for coming and giving me your fab smile. we’ll make an albanian of you yet.

Lovely Albanian press people showed too and I hope we’ll get good reviews. if we don’t, i ain’t sleeping with you. if we do… well, i ain’t sleeping with you either but i will be extra grateful. especially if you spell my name right.

The photos were very appreciated, critiqued, rotated, wetted, ncuq-ed and oh-ah-ed over. we managed to get all pictures named before the show (well actually, all I did was put on makeup, but i am sure my presence, especially the top i had on, inspired people). so it was a success. i apologize to all the people expecting tits and breakings of cultural barriers. our aim was to have a cultural soiree. mission accomplished

afterwards, we went to Desare where Aurela Gace was singing, Elton Deda was accompanying her, and a whole slew of NAAC people were playing important, and we had more fun. Aurela was of course magnificent. the night ended strangely enough with my shoes of at Two Stars in the Bronx, arguing with a couple of friends over tea and pleskavica. go figure.

and now that i am done with lip service, the dirty stuff:

1. ex-crush was there with new gf, and old gf showed up too. we braced for battle but everybody was exceptionally well behaved. and no, i do not have the crush anymore.

2. feuding brother and bf of friend both showed. who wins, who does not?

2. just-engaged couple was cute but obnoxious. well that’s it, my kids will never marry their kids.

3. a pox to all those that did not show up to support us. no matter if their cat had died, wifey’s water broke, miss Kosova wanted a hot date, or their 401k was invested with the Lehman brothers, they should have come. (i will remember who you are, come Christmas, Channukah and Ramadan. oh yes, lunar New Year too).

4.@ you-know-who-you-are, never ever start your stand-up act with black jokes. it just kills the mood even if albanians are white. and never give up, because we are not as tough to crack as you think.

5. a bucket is always handy for a leaking air conditioner. thankfully the pictures were not harmed, but the floor was.

there were several more things but i forgot them. please feel free to add your own.

Albanian Art Calendar

well, Albanian art shows are on with a vengeance this fall. and there is some serious artwork and film there with interesting names and so forth. and surprisingly it is good art with barely any mother Theresas or Scanderbegs in the mix. not that i have anything against them, but it seems that the only way to prove one’s albanian-ness lately is to have an artwork dedicated to either mother Theresa, Scanderbeg, the doubleheaded eagle, even a ballist or two. and for one like me who grew up during the Enver period, it does bring back the good old times.

anyway, i am happy to see that the scene is rife with Albanian art life even if still in the algae stage.

and now without further ado:

1. Dhimitri screened his movie “” at the Producers Club. it is surprisingly good (for me anyway) despite all the melodrama and cliches. i do not think he has found his way still, but he is getting there. hopefully Sundance will see it my way too.

2. Art show of Alex Margjini (since when Alex?) Erion Xhelili dhe Arber Thano. good i say. I liked the paintings and the tits that were painted facing off with mother Theresa, separated by the Jonian sea. there was potential, and i hope the painters got the buyers they were waiting for. furthermore there was elucidating conversation, free drinks and ribs at Joe’s rib shack after. if there would be no storm, it would have been perfect.

3. art show organized by AAWO with the photos of Vasil Qesari and paintings of Fate Velaj who confused a helluva people expecting a gorgeous and elegant girl artiste and facing instead a very dapper Fatmir Velaj. well these things happen. unfortunately it was so hot that i barely saw a picture or three and concentrated on the wine and water instead. my big loss i am sure. wish both artists good luck even though they are well known and do not really need it.

4. Albanian Women Exposed . ok here you have to come people. no ifs or buts or what nots. it is our party, we need your support and you might even get to see a tit or two. and the booze is cheap. and i can read hands if the mood so strikes me. (check the pic in the other post for more info)

5. same night is the NAac dinner at Cipriani and an after show with Aurela Gace at Desire, a french restaurant owned by an albanian guy: (yes, ee i take the pate de imam bajalldi and two vin de berat please!) the 19th seems to be a very fashionable day. (were they listening behind our doors or sth?)

6. Elza Zagreda is coming back with “Divorce! Albanian Style” More power to this woman who can still make us laugh, even in the face of the violence such an event might bring. she is pretty, she is smart, she is very talented and her humor speaks a lot, especially now when an albanian woman lies on the hospital bed, knifed down by her crazy ex-husband. he did it in front of the kids. so come, laugh and evolve.

7. Colombus day parade with a heavy Albo accent. dunno why we albos love parades so much. but it promises to be fun. check it out on facebook or email this guy for more info. info@thealbanians.com.

more is coming. will keep you posted.

I got Newport on my mind

My back is aflame, my hair still looks like a big fiery bush, and I only got home today. Yet this weekend was the best in a really long time.

Our flickr/peshku crew got together again, this time in Newport. There were two extra new people (to me at least), both valuable additions to the team (May God never limit our friends and our idiots and I ain’t sayin’ which was which). But good times were had by all, a lot of laughter and chocolate was shared (God bless you G!), and we Od’d on pics. We  had fun shooting nature, opulent mansions, lule bore, kites, scooters, dogs, sea and sky, each-other, even fish remnants, until there were no more picturese to be had. By Sunday even the sexiest camera was hanging limp in the tired hands of its owner.

Newport was very pretty and full of those strange animals called tourists. Young flesh was displayed in aboundance, as was old flesh (but less successfully of course). And the mansions were really big and ornate, and made me dream of single princes and silver gowns with glass slippers. It did not help that I was driven around like the little princess I was. A shoutout to Miss H by the way, a super-duper driver, what with with her sexy looks and nonchalant cigarette (If i were a man, I’d let all my dates drive before I chose who to shag. It is not the same for the me, although I do have a special place in my groin for confident drivers.)

We even managed to find a crew of good old Albo boys sunning themselves right next to us in Newport beach. Ah it is a small world. I am sure had I engaged in conversation, I’d have found about 5 cousins in about 5 minutes. Fortunately, our chevaliers were very interesting and kept us occupied for the whole time, not even once making room for any other people neccessary , except of course the occassional yummy lifeguard. I even forgot the sunscreen, turning my back into a true abstract masterpiece, possibly called Inferno.

Big Decision Time

for those of you who have been wondering where i have disappeared, i want to apologize and explain. not that i owe you anything. but i fancy that you like me enough to care, and that you can’t sleep at night with worries of me.

well, in short, i got married. i decided that it was time to make my parents happy and get my friend a green card so we tied the knot last week in a civil ceremony in NY city hall. it is not very hard to get a license you know.

we got a license, waited a day, and then became a couple officially. i wore black in deference to NY and he wore a red tie with a black eagle which i asked him to keep on on the wedding night. his eyes were green in deference to the green card, and my underwear was white so that my mom had nothing to complain about.

so mazel tov to me and you’re all invited to the wedding when we actually get to have one. we’ll dance, we’ll prance, and we’ll give all the bridesmaids up for sale. for now, you’d just have to content with a virtual Turkish delight.

Mourning

there is nothing cute to say. just Albania, burning and mourning its dead. condolences and prayer.

Dear Friend

Hey friend,
Thank you for your message. I normally never discuss politics and war, but with all that has been going on, it feels necessary to explain.
Yes I am Albanian, but from Albania, not from Kosova. However, we are all Albanian. We are all grateful to the US for intervening and saving our people.

Our history is very long and a bit confusing and it all starts a very long time ago. However, the short version is that after the Ottoman empire disintegration, ethnic Albania was the last country to declare independence including Kosova lands in Nov 1912. The grand powers of the world at the time decided to give Kosova to Yugoslavia then, because Albania was too weak. And they gave southern lands to Greece. Since then, there has been continuous war. Our southern lands were brutally, methodically and permanently cleansed, causing people to flee and almost forever close that chapter of history
Albanian Kosovars are more resilient.  Even though they have been persecuted, killed, and hurt in any possible way only because they would not assimilate. Just google and you will find the horror stories.
Nobody heard Kosovars plight through 50 years, not even Albania the nation. I guess we were too involved in our own dictatorship to do anything to help.
When Yugoslavia started disintegrating, Serbia stood to lose the most economically and power wise. So they fought with everybody, and everything and lost.
Losing Kosova smarted the most, because Albanian Kosovars were always considered 2nd hand citizens, usurping Kosova through their high birth rate and their Muslim ways. Even with all the cleansing strategies, Kosova is still 85% ethnic Albanian (conservative estimate). Unfortunately, Kosova is also very rich in minerals and other natural goodies that Serbia uses, with only minimal investing. The irony is that the war could have been avoided, if Kosova had not been systematically persecuted through the last 50 yrs. Everybody wanted peace and prosperity except the greedy governments. Unfortunately,  time has shown the ending of what Kosovars would go through, if they let Serbia rule them one more time. See even though very patient and peacefully protecting their rights, Albanian Kosovars gained nothing.
In 1997 thru 1999, things came to a boil. A lot of Kosovar Albanians fleed from their homes and took refuge in Albania, Former Macedonia and the US, while many men went to war over their land and people. You can read their testimonies all over the internet. If not for US and NATO Forces, a lot more people would have died, because this time Albanians were not backing down.
There were independence plans since then, but Serbia refused to come to an agreement. They have been stalling for 10 years, while not relenting an inch in their treatment of Albanian Kosovars. Before fighting Croatia, Slovenia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, they had the support of a lot of European countries which truly consider all Albanians 4th class Citizens. America did not care until 1997. Can’t tell you why they took an interest, maybe to balance off Russia’s influence on Serbia, but for us it was very fortunate. They truly helped finish a war that would have been really horrible.
And by supporting Kosova’s independence now, they’ve made sure that it stays that way.
I do not think that this sets a precedent for Basque and Chechnya separatists. I do not think that Serbs are as bloodthirsty and as full of hate towards Albanians and the US, as they are pictured on the news. I blame most of what you see on TV on the dirty politics of war criminals who do not want to let go of their bloodied power.
I do not like people who give judgement without getting all their facts straight and I do think that this incident will help American people not to fall asleep again, and to understand that every little happening in the world impacts their lives too. See this is not happening in Darfur, Iraq or China, but in Europe, a lot closer to home than we imagined. Therefore I appreciate your inquiry a lot more than you think.
love as well
B.

p.s. This originated as an answer to a friend’s email on what is happening now in Kosova and Serbia. Any historical misrepresentation and mistakes in dates and places are entirely my own, as well as the opinion expressed here.
 

.AOLWebSuite .AOLPicturesFullSizeLink { height: 1px; width: 1px; overflow: hidden; }