why i like my job

“woo, marshallah, God bless your tits. you have really good tits, just the way i like them.”  the statement in itself, while true, makes for a very uncomfortable compliment. coupled with the fact that it just left the mouth of an 84 yr old woman, and the blush on my neck and cheeks becomes entirely justified. 

“cheeks too, very round cheeks” she says and pinches them. I laugh. we are good with cheeks, in familiar ground. we talk about other things, we laugh and we gesture, we interact with the rest of the people in the center. we discuss the program, the number of her children (anywhere from four to eight) and what she expects to get from us. the nice center assistants comes swooping in bearing apple juice.

“wooo, good tits, great tits you have too. i like your tits” my horny hag chimes in again, cackling in her particular cooky way.

“vot she say? ” the aide asks. thankfully she does not understand Albanian. 

“tell her. tell her she has round tits” the old lady says and elbows me in the ribs.

“she says you are very beautiful and she likes your face” my pg13 version ensues. the aide beams at the old lady, the old lady beams at the aide and they both feel happy. who says I have no diplomatic skills?

at least i got a compliment.