bletebzz

October 30, 2007

slash me baby, slash me all night long

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — bletebzz @ 11:54 pm

he invites me for a dance, the man that came out of my dream, the disturbing stranger with dark eyes and solemn smile.

he twirls me around, he leads on the floor, his hand in my waist, his scent dancing with my hair and nose.

his breath caresses my ear, warm, accessible and as solemn as his smile.

he presents me to the audience, proud, reverent and ironic, playing at the concerned lover and the careful house master.

he smiles as they applaud our intricate dancing figures, even if i am not aware i am making them.

he adores me in silence, he pleads with his eyes for a little closeness, just half an inch, no more.

he brings my body close to his, a willow against the wind, a vine against the wall, a bee against the flower.

he nourishes me with his touch, he spoils me with his attention, he claims me with his nails, so long and so strong and so unsettling.

(more…)

October 29, 2007

Blog questions ( I keep my Promises)

Filed under: Uncategorized — bletebzz @ 7:29 pm

1.My eye color: Brown

2.Favorite car: Eww, Hate cars, but if I had to, I’d get a Hybrid.

3.Right-handed or left-handed: Right.

4.Shoes you wore today: Flat Moschinos. I like them because they are green.

5.My fears: Dying and the sun explosion

6.Goal you would like to achieve this year: Get my freaking driving license before I go bats on the DMV

7.Thoughts first waking up: what thoughts? I start working at 9 but I wake up after 12

8.My bedtime: Anytime I can actually make it into bed

9.Pepsi or Coke: I like coffee

(more…)

Casting A Spell (Warning, Cheesy content)

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — bletebzz @ 2:08 am

Lost asked about my Halloween contribution. Since I’ll be on a plane bound for San Francisco that day, and pretend to be a business woman later in the evening, I won’t do any role-playing in public this year (in private is another matter), hence no material for the blog.

But maybe you’ll find this story interesting. It is mostly true.

“ So, what do you think about us being together? – I said and tried to catch his beautiful brown eyes, currently studying his big, strong hands. “I really would like us to”

I waited for several anxious heartbeats.

“The thing is- he finally said, – I don’t feel I can do this. I just can’t.”

“Why? – I asked, even as my heart sunk into my intestines and bile made its way up my stomach.

“ I don’t know. – He answered – I guess I have always seen you as my best friend and I do not want to jeopardize that.”

I tried to ask for more explanations, tried to plead and beg and throw a tantrum, but I could not. I had a feeling he would bolt at the first tear coming down my cheek. What on earth was I going to win anyway, except his loathing? I stopped the tears before they made it past my eyes and gulped on some more red wine. My head felt weak and I could see myself as if from a far away distance, frozen in place.

 “I do not deserve you anyway- he said- If things go wrong, I won’t have your friendship anymore and I really need that.”

His words were like frozen hail upon my brain. I could not understand what he was talking about.

“Besides you hit on me every time you drink. –He said. Then, my brain shut down completely. There was nothing left to say, so he murmured some excuse and left.

(more…)

October 22, 2007

Going shopping.

Filed under: Uncategorized — bletebzz @ 10:39 pm

she drives fitfully, like a very bad secret agent, or like a very good korean housewife, i am not sure which. she stays too close to the cars in front of her, cuts through impossible traffic and is often lost in enticing shortcuts that become the longest roads of the drive. she brakes suddenly, she gestures at the other drivers, she backs up half a mile and she never stops at the stop sign. all this so we can get to the city in 20 minutes while they are warning of 60 min traffic delays.

at the passenger side, i am happy there is a seat-belt and that i am wearing it. i pay no attention to the deep indentations it has created between my breasts and across my lap, nor to the coffee saturated shirt i am wearing. i still have my life. in a way i am reminded of that Grindhouse movie with Kurt Russell the mad driver that kills the passenger. i don’t dare think of the other two backseat passengers and drivers, who are also wearing Eau de Starbucks and trying to restart their hearts.

(more…)

October 19, 2007

Cafe Drama II

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — bletebzz @ 4:22 pm

 

-sweetie, you can put your eyes back in their sockets now – she scolds gently and sips melted dark chocolate from her cup.

-what do you mean? – he asks, trying to put up a nonchalant air.

-I mean that you have been staring at that woman for the last 10 minutes. It is a wonder her partner has not come to break your nose yet.

-no I haven’t – he counters even though they both know it is true. And, while he is a good liar, she is an even better people reader, so this type of conversation never lasts very long.

-well, -he finally admits after the reluctant silence that engulfs them both.-she is just somebody I never expected to see again, that’s all.

-how so? – she asks.

-I used to know her before, before my divorce. but I thought she was living abroad.

He knows she can hear the difference in his voice, that slight thinning that comes with talking about sensitive issues.

(more…)

October 17, 2007

Guilty Pleasure Number Whatever “Warning: Sensitivity Offender”

Filed under: Uncategorized — bletebzz @ 10:13 pm

Squeezing pimples. There seems to be this morbid fascination with the dirty sickly off-white gob with a black head that comes out of holes of the face, arms, chest, back etc.  Often, whole important conversations fly by while attention is focused on nose pores with slightly protruding black heads, whitehead pimples, and ripe zits. Ah, how those sick beauties can be squeezed, sometimes spurting their contents almost immediately, sometimes wanting to be coaxed slowly and carefully so that the skin will not break, but the little worms will come out in full. There is nothing more satisfactory than a visible red dot where the raised pimple used to be. The unclean stuff is out of the body; the festering infection has come to a just end. And yes, a measure of sick pleasure has also been experienced.

It is surprising to see how many people are actually affected by it. Lovers make it part of their game, families discuss their issues over squeezing and studying the end result, and friends trust each-other with back-examination and nose black-head pickings. People stand still in submissive poses, bearing pinching pain that otherwise would send them reeling, only because they know their turn will come as well. And because they want to see how big the gob is, the unclean worm that should not be in their bodies.

(My friend once told me that she had found a very big pimple on her grandmother’s back, the likes of which she had never seen before. She had squeezed and squeezed it, heedless of her grandmother’s whimpers, until she was satisfied that there was no more off-white smelly stuff inside the grandmother’s otherwise pristine skin. My friend’s hang-up had always been the fact that she had not inherited that alabaster and wrinkle free wonder, but her mother’s oily mess prone to breakouts and thick blackheads. It had been a treat to find the pimple on that skin and furthermore squeeze it beyond any reasonable time and measure, until she had OD’d on the pleasure.

Listening to that story, I was torn between disgust and curiosity. That night I dreamt that I had found such a pimple upon my belly, and squeezed out the steady stream of thick and oily stuff, which I later realized was my own belly fat. In my dream, I finally saw myself slim. And when awake, I almost wished my unblemished skin to break out so that I may squeeze all fat and impurity out and away from my body.)

It is very easy, very human and very fascinating/disgusting to squeeze pimples. Possibly it is the same with combing hair, flossing or picking one’s nose. In all these cases, a dirty and possibly painful deed is performed, in order to cleanse and beautify the body, satisfying unknown urges in the process. It is very hard to bypass a mirror without wanting to pick at the skin, or not to run hands upon the shoulder and back surfaces hoping for slight bumps and telltale signs. So, embrace your inner squeezer, and be aware that it is lurking inside the surface, always coming out and giving pleasure at the most unexpected times, and connecting people through the most unexpected gestures. Oh well, to each his own.

October 15, 2007

Back Again

Filed under: Uncategorized — bletebzz @ 9:22 am

Yay, I can blog from work again! It is sucha  wonderful feeling to give way again to all the perversities that come to mind during work hours. (whoever doesn’t get perverse thoughts during work hours is either a cyborg, a plant, or works at an S &M club in which case perverse thoughts are a requirement, therefore perverse no longer. However, I can only imagine the dominatrix going: “what a load of crap! how I would have liked to replace this naked jelly butt with a computer screen and check out my medical school test scores!”)

But in short, I am back to being free to do what God intended, sit on my butt the whole work day long and pretend i am working. And I get to sleep at night.

October 7, 2007

cafe drama

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — bletebzz @ 1:40 pm

- i can’t believe you did this to me – he says.

-did what? -she asks.

-you know fully well what – he hisses.

-stop it now – she pleads – give it a rest man. it was a month ago.

- just can’t get over the fact of what a slut you are.

she winces at his words. a headache is making its way from the base of her neck. possibly because her energy has run out.

- stop being such a wounded dove. you knew i was a slut since the beginning. that is why i slept with you in the first place.

- yeah but, but i did not think you would sleep around like that.

- i never pretended otherwise. -she says and drinks her espresso wearily. this conversation is definitely getting to her.

(more…)

October 6, 2007

Highschool Memories

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — bletebzz @ 8:43 pm

I have been in love with this song since times immemorable (High school). Who knew I could be so faithful?

This is just too f*** awesome.

Brooding Sexy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WA2jBMk-Pk

Funny Funny Funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK5AJhtfgCQ

The Original (key to me)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXmlJQN5Pm8

October 5, 2007

Lover (another blues song)

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — bletebzz @ 12:47 am

lover you come

and lover you go

lover you speak

and lover you stop

lover you love

and lover you kiss

lover you meet

and lover you miss

lover in love

and lover in need

lover is friend

a lover indeed

lover in eyes

and lover in me

lover i lost

and lover i free

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